Misguided Ghosts
by DarkAngel2112
Summary: "I will not lose you." Sometimes, magic and love isn't enough. When you're in the fight of your life, you need someone by your side. And Aven, Rena, Merlin, and Arthur may have to give up all they tried for. Sequel to Every Rose Has Its Thorn. ON HIATUS.
1. You Are The Only One

**MISGUIDED GHOSTS**

**A/N:**_ Hello, my wonderful readers! Yes, I have returned with Misguided Ghosts! Now, my New Year's Resolution is to make promises to you guys and actually keep them (easier said than done) so I'm going to update once a week. I might fall behind, though, and I'm really sorry I can't update every two or three days like I did with Every Rose Has Its Thorn. Quick reminder: the pictures of the characters are on my profile. I changed some of them, so you might want to take a look even if you did at the beginning of Every Rose Has Its Thorn. Another thing I hereby promise you: I **WILL** reply to every signed review. I PROMISE. Oh, and I have a message for two of the reviewers of Every Rose Has Its Thorn (they left unsigned reviews so I couldn't reply)._

_**Sid**: Thanks for the note about the spells; I use an online translator (Google) so I just wrote what it told me. I really wouldn't know the difference, but thanks._

_**RubyLove717**: STOP. STALKING. ME. I know where you live... yeah, the room down the hall. :P So, thanks for actually reading the story... and, yeah, my characters cuss. I learned half of my "vocabulary" from you! Anyway, swearing aside, I hope you like Misguided Ghosts as much! (I have a beta now, Ruby. Quit pointing out my mistakes every time you talk to me about my writing.)_

_Anywho... I hope the rest of you enjoy Misguided Ghosts! It's sad entering 2011 still not owning Merlin. Nor do I own "You Are The Only One" by Emily Osment. This chapter is pretty short, it's mostly to get the ball rolling. It was about one page on Word, and the other chapters are all four and a half pages (about) so the others will be much longer. Oh, and don't bother reading any more if you haven't read Every Rose Has Its Thorn. None of this will make sense, I can tell you that right now. One last shout-out: Without being sappy, **Kitty O,** I want to thank you for everything you've done for this story, including reviewing, beta-ing from chapter 21 of Every Rose Has Its Thorn to now, and continuing to message me even when I go off on these random rants about stupid things... thanks. :)_

_Now, without further ado, I give you... Misguided Ghosts._

* * *

**1. You Are The Only One**

Two weeks after Aven had left… that was when the nightmares began.

Merlin only got a fortnight of dreamless (albeit restless) sleep without Aven in the castle. It was weird, but it was as though his subconscious was fully aware that a part of him was missing… that a part of him was a four-day's journey away.

Other than Merlin's somewhat sleepless nights, life in the castle had been relatively normal since Aven's departure. It had been so quiet, it was almost… boring. Rena Pendragon had left about a week after Aven did. She went back to her home kingdom, Revasia, leaving her cousin Arthur and her love Xander behind. It was probably safest there for her in Revasia, anyway. She was magic, and if the people of Revasia found out… well, at least she wouldn't be sentenced to death, like she would be in Camelot. Uther had never liked his niece, anyway.

Aven always said that Uther was executing hundreds of innocent people while two powerful witches and the most powerful warlock to have ever lived were right under his nose, practicing magic under his roof whenever they saw fit. Of course, Rena always got upset whenever Aven's rather dry sense of humor became evident, saying that joking like that was inappropriate. But that was how Aven saw the world.

And, to be honest, it didn't bother Merlin one bit. Whether he'd just gotten used to it because of the ungodly amounts of time he wanted to spend with Aven or he just accepted it because he loved her so much, it didn't bother him at all. At the same time, though, Merlin didn't tell her this, because he'd only _just_ managed to convince her that love existed. For the longest time, she'd been completely against it, having never seen it herself.

Now that she did, Merlin didn't even know if he was ever going to be able to be with her. She was a princess, after all. It was easy to forget that, since she certainly didn't come off as one. Merlin had always seen her as his beautiful, magical girl from the forest. Naturally, she was so much more than that to him, but that was how he generally thought of her.

Arthur had noticed a change in his manservant recently. He seemed very… distant. He didn't make his usual quips whenever Arthur ordered him around, and the prince had no idea why. Neither Merlin nor Aven had ever mentioned their forbidden relationship to anyone but Rena, since they didn't know how it would be received. Merlin thought that maybe Arthur would understand, since he was in love with Gwen, but the warlock was a little bit worried about Aven's protective older brother Xander. Xander was one of Arthur's knights, and Merlin knew Xander would never _really_ hurt him, since it would hurt Aven, but he was still a little wary of the knight. No one knew better than Merlin that love made you do strange things.

So he figured he was imagining things as he lay in his bed (once again late bringing Arthur his breakfast), and he heard a voice he'd been waiting to hear for what had seemed like an eternity.

"Hi there, stranger."


	2. What If

**A/N: **_Alrighty, people! Thanks to whoever reviewed, alerted, and favorited! Also thanks to my beta reader, **Kitty O**! I know the first chapter was pretty much a shameless drabble and apparently wasn't too well-recieved, but hopefully this makes up for it, because we dive right into the action in this chapter! Oh, and looked at that. I promised a weekly update and here it is! Hopefully I can continue to do that. It sucks when all of a sudden you get a life and it totally just pops up out of nowhere. So, I still don't own Merlin, or "What If" by Ashley Tisdale. (Oh, and for all you Americans, who else watched s3 e1 on SyFy last night?) :D I've got some one-shots in mind now... By the way, this whole story was inspired by the Sara Bareilles song "Breathe Again", so if you want a better idea of the mood of the story listen to that; it's a really beautiful song. __One last note: Hopefully by chapter 5 I'll have made the Every Rose Has Its Thorn/Misguided Ghosts trailer (Yes I'm combining the two) and I'm posting it on YouTube once it's done._

_Okay, people, I just edited this chapter after Kitty O reviewed it and pointed out a few things to me... yes, I know I just made the Author's Note longer but I had to mention this. Anyway, Kitty, I fixed the things you mentioned... thanks!_

**2. What If**

Rena hated the protection that her stepfather made her suffer through. She knew he meant well, but she knew she could take care of herself. After all, she was going to Camelot, and Camelot surely had better defenses than Revasia, her home kingdom. Besides, Arthur was there, and he would never let anything happen to his younger cousin. Oh, and of course there was Aven, who would kill anyone who tried to hurt Rena without a second thought.

Aven may have been somewhat crazy and erratic, but she was Rena's best friend, and she sure was loyal. Maybe a little _too _loyal…

While she thought about Aven and Arthur, Rena was greeted with a familiar sight. Over the early-morning horizon, she saw Camelot's castle in all its glory. She couldn't keep the smile off of her face. She was hoping that this time, she would be able to spend her time in Camelot with her cousin, her best friend, and Xander.

Even though Xander was Aven's older brother and Rena was Aven's best friend, Aven didn't think it was weird that the two were in love. Rena supposed it was just because Aven seemed to know everything that had happened, was happening, and was going to happen.

_It's scary how she's like that, _Rena thought as she and the guards surrounding her got closer and closer to the castle. She almost wanted to call Camelot home instead of Revasia, because there were so many memories within the stone walls that she cherished. She didn't have anything like that back in her _real _home.

The smile on Rena's face grew as she saw the silhouette of two men, who seemed to be almost glowing from the rising sun behind them. There was Arthur, with his muscular build and corn silk hair, and Xander, with his boyish smile and sparkling eyes that Rena had been thinking of ever since she'd left for Revasia. _Those Vymans sure have some impressive eyes, _she mused. She couldn't fight the heat that was creeping into her cheeks at the sight of him, and imagined the ridicule she'd be suffering through if Aven could see her.

Now, she just hoped that this trip to Camelot went more smoothly than the last…

* * *

Merlin stared up into a pair of the most beautiful brown eyes he'd ever seen with an expression on his face that was one of complete and total surprise. Aven was kneeling next to his bed, a small smile playing on her lips as she looked back at him. Merlin wasn't sure what to say. He was never good with women, and Aven confused him more than anyone else had.

Besides, he had just woken up. This was a lot to process. He didn't quite believe he had stopped dreaming.

"A-Aven?" Merlin asked quietly. Aven smiled and tucked a piece of hair behind her left ear.

"Hi, Merlin." Slowly, Merlin sat up, never taking his eyes off of Aven. He didn't really know what to do, so he went with his first instinct. He kissed her.

The kiss was slow, sweet, and passionate. It didn't make up for all the time that Merlin and Aven had been apart, but it came close. Merlin placed his hand on the back of Aven's neck, drawing her in closer. A moment after he did so, they broke apart as they heard a vase shatter across the room. Aven looked at the remnants of the vase before she came to realize that she and Merlin had made it explode.

"That is a shining example of why we can't do this too often. At least not without people questioning it," Aven said, biting back a laugh. "So… what have you been doing while I was gone?" Unable to keep the grin off his face, Merlin shrugged.

"Oh, you know… saving the world, one arrogant prat at a time," Merlin said, obviously referring to Arthur. Aven titled her head a little.

"Surely he's gotten better," she murmured, a note of concern in her voice. "I thought I saw…" she trailed off. Merlin knew she was talking about her visions of the future.

"What did you see?" he asked, holding her hand in his.

"I don't know… Arthur was being less of a prat, and I think Guinevere had something to do with it," Aven said, the expression on her face showing she was deep in thought. "Any luck with those two? Has Arthur stopped being such an idiot?" she asked hopefully. Merlin chuckled.

"Sorry, no progress so far." Aven sighed and hung her head.

"One of these days…" she muttered. Looking back up at Merlin, she smiled again. "I should not be here. But I needed to come see you." What she said reminded Merlin of the first time he had met Rena. What the golden-haired princess had told Arthur was almost identical to the words of her darker friend. As if reading his thoughts, Aven added, "Oh, and if you see Rena, tell her I will come see her tonight."

"Rena's here?" Merlin asked as he watched Aven leave.

"Of course." With that, Aven shut the door, leaving Merlin alone once again.

* * *

"You know, crowns and tiaras were never really my forte," Aven muttered as Rena adjusted the sparkling jewels on the mass of wavy dark hair.

"Mm hmm," Rena murmured, only half-listening. "You sound like Arthur. He says that his crown gives him a headache." Aven looked horrified at this.

"Do _not_ compare me to him!"

"Then do not talk like him."

"I don't!"

"Except for just now," Rena reminded her. Aven rolled her eyes.

"Remind me again why I call you my best friend?" she joked.

"Because you would be completely lost without me," Rena laughed as stepped away from Aven to admire her handiwork. "Not bad for being out of practice for almost three months," Rena mused. Making Aven look like royalty was always a chore, and it was one that no one in the castle had enough initiative to take on except for Rena. Not even Gwen would attempt such a feat.

"Did you notice how cold it has been lately?" Aven suddenly asked. Rena gave her a perplexed look.

"Well, _that _came out of nowhere. But, since you mentioned it, I have noticed."

"Yeah… you don't think it might be… I mean, it could be that-"

"Oh, do not start _this_ again!" Rena said, throwing her hands up in the air as she understood where Aven was taking their conversation. "Really, Aven? A simple change in the weather is all it takes for you to start thinking that we are under attack from someone or something? And _now_ you are-"

"RENA!" The room was silent. "Considering our track record," Aven said, her voice low, "I would not dismiss the possibility."

"You're paranoid, that's what you are," Rena grumbled under her breath.

"Am I wrong about us?" Aven asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Well, no, but I honestly don't think this is anything to worry about," Rena said, swiftly moving her blonde hair away from her face.

"I did not say I was worried. I just want to make sure we are on our guard. It seems that whenever you and I are together, trouble seems to follow us," Aven said.

"I think it's Merlin, not us," Rena argued. Aven rolled her eyes once again.

"Yeah, I know you do."

* * *

"So, does it feel weird to be back here?" Arthur asked Aven as the maidservant Jayva poured some ale into her goblet. Aven laughed. The two were sitting in the ballroom, where there were many guests and lots of lively music playing. They had picked out a quieter section of the room, where they could talk.

"If you are asking if I missed you, the answer is no, Arthur," she teased. The relationship that Aven and Arthur had been in once upon a time had been anything but what it was currently. Aven had been engaged to Arthur, and they were much more willing to get married back then as opposed to now, when they acted much more like brother and sister. Arthur would never admit it, but Aven's "disappearance" had crushed him a little inside.

When she returned, he was expecting his feelings for her to return as well. But they didn't, and Aven knew they never would. His heart belonged to someone else now, and Aven was more than happy to accept that. She had a few regrets about things she had done in her past, but none of them involved Arthur. She knew she was very lucky, for a potentially disastrous situation with him had actually turned out all right. Things like that didn't always happen.

"Well, that's good, then, because I didn't miss you at all, either," Arthur said, the tone to his voice showing Aven that she couldn't possibly out-smug him.

"Well, then, I am glad we have an understanding." Aven smirked, and then patted his hand, which was resting on top of the table. "I _am _glad to be back," she admitted quietly. Arthur smiled.

"I thought you might be."

"Mind if I join your little party?" Rena asked as she sat down across from Aven and Arthur. Aven smiled and took her hand away from Arthur's.

"Of course, you're always the life of the _entire_ party, Rena," Arthur said, making Rena laugh just like he did when they were kids.

"And I work very hard at it. Just as I'm sure you work equally hard at being the biggest prat possible," Rena shot back. She smiled brightly. It felt good to be back in Camelot, with the most important people in her life. No longer could she pretend things would ever be the way they were when she was younger, but she wasn't sure if she wanted them to be. Back then, it had just been her and Arthur, and now they had Aven, Merlin, and even Xander. Rena felt little butterflies in her stomach as she spotted said knight across the room, and looked down quickly. When she raised her head, Aven had her fingertips pressed together and the underside of her chin was placed on top of her hands, a quirked right eyebrow completing her questioning look. Just as she was about to open her mouth to say something to Rena about how inappropriate it was to be having fantasies about _her _brother, the unthinkable happened.

It was like the whole thing went in slow-motion. Aven and Arthur, who were sitting underneath the large stained-glass windows of the ballroom, were the first to duck and cover their heads. Aven heard screams erupt from all over the room, and although she couldn't tell _who _had screamed first, she bet that it was Rena. Four huge fireballs crashed through the windows; one for every gigantic panel of glass. Aven and Arthur dove under the table as quickly as they could. Nevertheless, Aven winced as she felt shards of glass embed themselves in her skin. Most of them were in her calves.

Opening her tightly-shut eyelids, she saw Arthur lying on the ground not two inches from herself, a look of panic in his eyes. Then, everything got blurry. Aven prayed that a piece of glass had not somehow gotten into her eyes. A few moments later, her vision cleared, and Aven said a silent prayer of thanks to whoever had prevented her possible catastrophe.

As quickly as they both could, Aven and Arthur crawled out from under the table, and were horrified and shocked at what they saw. The entire room was in pieces, with tapestries burned to a crisp and priceless items destroyed.

Rena was on the ground, her hand held to her bloody lip. No one seemed to have been seriously injured, although many had been cut and burned.

As Arthur helped his cousin off the floor, Aven moved swiftly through the room to assess the damage. As she did so, a thought crossed her mind.

_I told Rena it was getting cold._


	3. Vanilla Twilight

**A/N: **_Readers! I'm here with my weekly update, as promised! I actually wasn't sure if I was going to be able to get this out today, but looks like everything worked. Oh, and for everyone who reads **Critic's Choice**, I'll update that as soon as I can. As always, thanks to my Beta, **Kitty O**, who I think helped this chapter a lot, thanks to Owl City for giving me the wonderful and inspiring song Vanilla Twilight, and a sarcastic thanks to BBC for not letting me own Merlin. A very sarcastic thanks._

**3. Vanilla Twilight**

_Aven. _

As soon as Merlin's mind was working properly, she was the first thing he thought of. His vision was fuzzy, and everything sounded far away. Eventually, though, he heard a somewhat panicked voice clearly calling his name.

"_Merlin_!" He could only just make out who was standing above him. Aven. She reached down and grabbed his hand to help pull him up. He realized that the chair that had hit him was now lying about three feet away, meaning there must have been quite an impact. His entire body was numb, though.

Upon seeing Aven more closely, Merlin noticed blood all over her cerulean dress, mostly at the bottom. There was a long stream of the red liquid flowing from her forehead down the rest of her face, as well.

"Are you all right?" she asked, a worried tone to her voice. Merlin nodded, mostly because he couldn't do anything else.

"What happened?" he managed to say. Aven's eyes narrowed, but not at Merlin.

"What do you think?" she snapped. "This damned castle was attacked _again_." A look of grief came over her face. "Are you badly hurt?" she asked, sighing.

"No, I'm fine," Merlin said. Aven gave him a weak smile and left, wanting so badly to kiss him but at the same time knowing how inappropriate it would be for her to show affection for him like that in front of such a crowd. As Merlin watched her go around and help whoever she could, he felt bad for a minute. _She would be an excellent queen_, he thought. _And she told me she would give that up for us to be together. But I don't want to take her away from her people, or her kingdom. Besides, what are the chances she would actually be able to give up her crown? Or even _want _to, if it ever comes down to that? _

As Merlin was contemplating his and Aven's future, the princess of Revasia was only just coming to terms with the fact that someone had actually tried to attack the whole of Camelot's nobility. Still a bit dazed, she went over to where she saw Aven attempting to get a piece of glass out of Arthur.

"How does it look?" Rena asked, coming to stand next to Aven, who was kneeling on the ground over Arthur, who was sitting against the wall.

"What? The whole situation… or _him_?" Aven growled, disdain in her voice. "Hold the prat still, would you, Rena?" Arthur glared at Aven.

"Maybe if you were a little gentler while trying to take glass out of my shoulder-"

"Maybe if _you_ would shut up, we would finish faster. You are lucky this didn't slice through your neck," Aven remarked. The edge to her voice was so sharp it probably could have cut Arthur wherever the glass had missed. Rena winced at the tone her friend was using, and decided it was best to stay out of it all.

"I'll, uh… I'll just go see if Gaius needs help... or… something" Rena murmured quietly, touching Aven's shoulder in a comforting, sisterly way. Rena thought she heard Aven mutter something like "Yeah, you do that", but then she figured it might have just been her imagination. Rena knew Aven was obviously in pain, both mentally and physically. She'd gotten cut and burned, and at the same time this was probably very disturbing to her.

_Wherever we go, _Rena thought, _trouble seems to follow._

* * *

Xander Vyman entered Gaius's chambers slowly, carrying his sister in his arms.

"I couldn't convince her to come see you by herself," Xander explained as he set Aven down on the examination table. Aven rolled her eyes.

"Really, Gaius, there are people that got hurt worse than I did. This is just a bit of glass. Some people got burned pretty badly," she protested. Now Xander rolled his eyes.

"Have you _seen_ yourself, Aven? There's so much glass in you we could completely repair the windows in the ballroom from your legs alone," he said. Aven and Xander began arguing over just how badly Aven was hurt, and if the current situation hadn't been quite so dramatic, Gaius might have been somewhat amused by watching the princess and the knight bicker. However, as of right then it wasn't doing anything to help them.

"Stop it, both of you!" Gaius scolded the two. "Aven, your brother's right. If your legs aren't treated properly, they could become infected, and then where would we be?" The princess didn't say anything more, but instead looked down at said legs. There was a lot of glass… and there were nicks and cuts everywhere. The backs of her calves had also been burned a little. Chewing on her lower lip, she thought about what she would do without her brother. Despite her stubborn and somewhat erratic personality, he was like her guardian angel and protector. She didn't think there was a better match than Xander and Rena…

"How quickly do you think it will be healed?" Aven asked. Since Gaius didn't know about her or Rena's magic (as far as either of the princesses knew), Aven figured that whatever time it took Gaius to heal her, she would take about half the time off of that if she worked to heal herself with her magic energy.

"I'm not sure, it may take a week for you to be completely healed," Gaius said. _Okay, so about three and a half days, _Aven thought. _I guess I can live with that._ As Gaius gave Xander a creamy white salve to spread over the cuts on his sister's legs, Rena and Merlin entered the room, looks of concern on both of their faces. Because of the way Rena moved hurriedly and swiftly through the room, her pale green dress lifted just enough so that Aven could see the bandage wrapped around her right ankle. _Sprain, _Aven deduced. Rena caught the darker girl's glances at her ankle and gave her a look that said "_I _was smart enough to go get help".

"What happened with Arthur?" Aven asked, trying to take the attention off of the anger that was mostly directed towards her.

"He will be fine," Rena said. Her tone was indifferent, but Aven could see in her friend's eyes the worry that she was trying not to show.

"Good. That's good," Aven murmured. "Speaking of which, shouldn't you both be getting back to him? I will be fine here," she said, looking at Xander and Rena. Rena was about to mention that she and Xander weren't really needed, and that Merlin should really be the one going to Arthur, but then realized that with Gaius in another room working on medicines and her and Xander gone, Aven would have a minute alone with Merlin, something that was becoming even harder to get as of late.

"Um… sure, I suppose so." Rena saw Xander's confused look and took his hand to lead him out of the room, promising to explain what her reasoning for this was later. Once the two were out of the room, Merlin was right next to Aven, the look on his face one of utter concern.

"You know what?" he asked quietly, taking Aven's hand in his. "I think you're going to be the death of me, Aven Vyman." Aven laughed softly.

"Well, whether or not I will be surely depends on who you ask," she remarked, a coy smile on her face.

"And if I'm asking you?" Aven thought about it, her face becoming one of seriousness.

"Then I would tell you that I will _absolutely _be the death of you… but I promise you a sweet death," she said, shrugging a little. Despite the circumstances, Merlin grinned. Aven didn't return his smile, though. Instead she just sighed.

"You know, I think I forgot where I was for a moment the other day. This is Camelot, where happy endings are usually just a fantasy, right?" Aven asked, obviously making the question rhetorical.

"We could be the ones to change that," Merlin murmured. Aven looked at the floor.

"Merlin… ever since I got here, I've been having awful dreams. Visions of the future, actually," she admitted.

"How do you know the difference between nightmares and visions?" Merlin asked, knowing Aven wasn't a full-blooded Seer and therefore didn't always have visions. But when she did See, it was usually destruction and death. It was very rare for her to See happiness in the future, whether it was hers or someone else's.

"Well, with nightmares, when you wake up, you feel a subconscious wave of relief go through you. You escaped from whatever was in your nightmare, and your mind is aware of that. When you have a vision, you do not get that luxury of subconscious relief. Somewhere in the back of your brain, your mind _knows_ that what you see in the visions is true. Then it is impossible to shake the feeling of imminent destruction. Basically, with visions, you wake up feeling like death itself came to you," Aven explained. "So believe me when I say these 'nightmares' _are_ visions."

"What have you Seen?" Merlin asked, worried for her. Aven shook her head, not taking her eyes off of the ground.

"The Druids. With Alvarr and Elrich dead, I do not think we have anything to fear from them," Aven said. "Still, what I have Seen is something big happening with them soon, and we will be a part of it. But that is not my only problem. There is something strange about these dreams… although I am not quite sure how to explain it. The best way I can think to tell you about it is… well, usually, when I have visions, I know that they are messages sent to me because of my Old-Religion blood. But with these visions, I know that they are coming from… an outside source, shall we say? Oh, God, I just can't explain it. But I fear that the attack tonight is only the beginning of something much bigger… bigger than you, me, or the Druids. And I have absolutely no idea what we are going to do." Aven whispered her last sentence, and Merlin could have sworn he heard a hint of panic creep into her otherwise calm voice.

Trying to keep his cool upon hearing what Aven had told him, Merlin wrapped a steady arm around the princess and pulled her closer to him. Aven seemed to melt into him, her rigid form slowly becoming more vulnerable as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I wish destiny wasn't so unpredictable," Aven muttered into his neckerchief. She remembered a conversation she'd had with Rena just hours before the whole mess had begun.

_"Where do you think we will be in five years?" Rena asked. It was an innocent enough question, but it caused Aven to groan in frustration and give a rather pessimistic reply._

_"Rena, I have got absolutely no idea. Destiny is hard. I mean, we make one wrong decision and everyone ends up dead." At this, Rena had sighed hopelessly._

_"You know, when you fell in love Merlin, I sort of hoped it would make you stop being the Mistress of Doom and Gloom," Rena said._

_Aven didn't respond. With a grimace, Rena rested her forehead on her hand._

_"That's a lost cause, isn't it?" Rena asked, sounding like she already knew the answer._

_"Of course."_

As she though about what she had said to Rena, Aven realized her cheeks were wet. Raising a hand to her eyes, she realized she was crying. _What is this? _She did _not _cry. _Well, Aven, if you don't cry, then what do you call the salty liquid falling from your eyes? _Oh, and there it was… the voice in the back of her head that seemed thoroughly intent on driving her mad well before her time. _When did I even start crying?..._ Aven wondered.

Wiping her eyes and cheeks so that Merlin did not see her tears (she still had an image to uphold, after all), Aven faced Merlin again.

"I… I think I need to talk to Rena," she said, pulling away from him. Merlin's hand lingered on her arm for a moment before letting her go.

"I really shouldn't let you walk…" Merlin began.

"…But you know you cannot stop me, right?" Aven finished as she stood up. Merlin nodded regretfully, and a smile played on Aven's lips as she kissed him. "Thank you," she whispered before turning towards the door and leaving to find Rena.

* * *

Aven found Rena outside of the ballroom, bouncing anxiously on her toes.

"What are you doing?" Aven asked, raising an eyebrow. Rena whipped around, her blonde hair hitting Aven in the face lightly.

"They won't let me back in," Rena said dejectedly. Then a look of realization came over her face. "Oh, _that _was why you didn't want to go to Gaius."

"Well, that, and the fact that I absolutely cannot _stand _being fussed over… yes, that was why I did not want to leave," Aven said.

"So, what are we going to do now?" Rena asked after a moment of silence.

"What, did you expect me to have a _plan_?" The sarcastic tone of Aven's voice along with the rather disgruntled look on her face told Rena that she was really just irritable at the moment. So Rena decided to just take the safest route.

"Yes."

"Good. Because I would hate to think you have been underestimating me," Aven said. Rena sighed; she didn't understand Aven _at all_.

"Wouldn't think of it," Rena said under her breath. Aven began rubbing her earlobe, which she only did when she was really stressed.

"I cannot say for certain, but I think that what happened tonight might have something to do with the nightmares I've been having lately," Aven said. "Maybe whoever has been giving me the nightmares decided they wanted to try the direct approach with me," Aven said.

"So what are we going to do?" Rena asked.

"We're going to do what we always do. We are going to get to the bottom of this, probably kill someone… or several someones, do things the hard way, and, of course use excessive amounts of…" Aven did something similar to jazz-hands, which was their signal for magic. Rena's eyebrow furrowed in thought as Aven began to walk off.

"Do we really do that?" she asked as she began walking as well. Aven looked over her shoulder with yet another cocked eyebrow.

"Where have _you_ been the past four months?"


	4. Untouched

**A/N:**_ All the usual stuff... thanks to Kitty O, I don't own Merlin/Untouched by the Veronicas, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review!_

**4. Untouched**

A feeling of discomfort settled into Rena's stomach just above her appendix. _Indigestion_, she thought, but knew that wasn't what was causing the feeling. It was Aven… Aven and her dreams.

The way Rena had it figured out, she had two options. Stand by while Aven slowly lost her mind (sort of like her father) and was tortured by the dreams, or go on a dangerous adventure and try to figure out who was causing Aven's nightmares and who had attacked the city.

Rena wondered if there was a third option.

She knew that she couldn't just stand by, because the last time she had done that Aven had almost died. But what if Aven rushed into the action without her? Then what would they do? Aven didn't really think things through, so Rena knew she'd have to make a decision soon… at least, before Aven did something that could potentially get her killed.

As Rena sat on her bed contemplating things, Aven opened the door and came in. _Because, of course, no one knocks in Camelot, _Rena thought.

"Er, hi. Can I borrow this?" Aven asked, holding up a jar of makeup that was sitting on a table near the door.

"Sure, but why do you need it?" Rena asked as Aven dipped her middle and forefinger into the makeup, then lightly dabbed it under her eyes.

"My nightmares are getting worse, and they've been keeping me up. I don't want it to be noticeable," Aven said. Rena nodded as the dark circles under Aven's eyes became less evident.

"Aven… I know you, and you're not going to let this go on for much longer, are you?" Rena asked, deciding it would be best to just come out and say it.

"Well, no, I guess not. I mean, I need to know what happening in my own head. Why, did you have an idea or something?" Aven inquired as she put the makeup back on Rena's table.

"No, not really," Rena admitted, remembering what Aven had told her the other night about just "doing what they always do".

"…You want to know if I'm going to try to find this out on my own." Aven said quietly. Rena nodded. _Stupid intuition. This girl could be psychic if she tried hard enough._

"Are you?"

"I… I don't think I was planning on it, no. But I _do _need to put an end to this," Aven said. Rena knew that, come hell or high water, Aven was going to accomplish her task. But she couldn't get hurt, no, that would be very, VERY bad, and there were a lot of reasons why. With Merlin in love with her the way he was… what would he do if something happened to her? And what would Rena do without her best friend around? Kierian would be without a princess…

_Oh, better not dwell on that._

"Well, no matter what you want to do, I am going to do it with you," Rena said firmly. She looked Aven in the eye, her gaze unwavering, showing her that nothing could make her back down. Aven smiled softly at the ground.

"I know." Rena tried not to roll her eyes.

"Of course you do."

"Come on, Rena. Like my best friend is going to let me do this all on my own? I know you better than that."

"Are we going to enlist Merlin's help?" Rena questioned, ignoring Aven's last statement. Aven clasped her hands together in front of her body.

"Not unless we absolutely have to. I don't really worry about myself, but if something should happen to him because of me…"

"Aren't you usually the damsel in distress while he's the one saving you?" Rena interrupted. Aven glared at her.

"Number one, NEVER call me a damsel in distress again. Number two, he saved me ONCE," Aven said, lying through her teeth. Rena only knew about once when Merlin had saved her, when in reality he'd saved her three times. But since Rena didn't know about the time the deceased Druid Elrich's spirit had possessed her, and since Aven would rather chew broken glass than have to admit that she couldn't fend for herself any more times than necessary, Rena was only aware of the time Merlin had saved her from being killed by Alvarr.

"Fine, you're not a damsel in distress. But I think, once you figure out what you're going to do, you should tell Merlin," Rena said. Running a hand through her hair, Aven sighed.

"Yeah. We'll see."

*ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT*

_Aven watched as a bright fire danced in front of her. It was huge, and her neck hurt from staring up at it, wondering if it had any end. It had completely surrounded her, but she felt no heat from it. The more Aven questioned the fire, the closer it seemed to want to be to her._

_Flames licked sensuously at her body. They weren't hot, but she felt the energy of what must have been a lot of power in them. As the circle of fire closed in on her, she realized that the flames were not coming to her because they wanted to… but that she was subconsciously asking them to. She knew she wanted their power. What witch wouldn't?_

_Aven reached out towards the flames. She breathed in deeply, taking in the essence of them. Oh, yes, she wanted this._

_The flames began to shoot at her. They all hit her heart after they had wrapped themselves comfortingly around her. Then the warmth disappeared. She blinked rapidly, and suddenly the flames were gone. _She _had their power._

_Aven grinned. She felt confident, brave, and, above all, impossibly powerful. As she turned around, she found herself standing thirty feet away from Merlin and Rena. They had hurt and confused looks on their faces._

_Just as Aven was about to ask what was wrong, a wall of fire erupted between her and her friends. This fire wasn't good, no, this fire hurt. Aven backed away immediately, wondering if she could (quite literally) fight fire with fire. She was about to test this theory, when an unfamiliar voice suddenly boomed all around her._

_"Every decision has consequences. Every rose has its thorn. Every love has sacrifices."_

Aven woke up, gasping as she sat up sharply; her eyes flashing gold when she opened them. _What happened? _she wondered. She sighed and put her head in her hands miserably; she knew she wouldn't be getting any more sleep.

What could the dream mean? Maybe someone would offer her power, but she had to turn her back on Merlin and Rena in order to receive it. She would never do that, at least not willingly… and Aven wasn't easily fooled. Well, there had been that bit with Elrich, but he'd been quite a good actor.

The look that had been on Merlin and Rena's faces had been heartbreaking to look at. Aven promised right then and there that she would never make sure that look was ever on either of their faces in real life.

_Easier said than done._

*ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT***ERHIT*

When Rena walked into Aven's room the next morning, she saw her friend putting various clothing items into a large burlap bag.

"What are you doing?" Rena asked suspiciously. "Because it looks a lot like you are packing."

"And if I am?" Aven asked, not taking her eyes off of what she was doing.

"If you were indeed packing, I would have to ask what it was for," Rena said, walking over to Aven. Placing one last item in the bag, Aven sighed heavily.

"I cannot stand these dreams anymore. They will drive me completely mad if I don't do something soon. I… I just need to put an end to this. And I do _not_ want you coming with me," Aven snapped as Rena opened her mouth to speak. Once Aven had said that, Rena clamped her mouth shut, taken aback by her friend's words. She wasn't used to Aven talking to her like that. But she realized the meaning of it as soon as she saw the exhaustion on Aven's face and her blood-shot eyes. Rena gave Aven a sympathetic look.

"Ave, I thought we talked about this-"

"Yeah, we did, but you know what, Rena? This is something I need to do for myself," Aven said. "The more you get involved the more chances there are for something to happen to you. And it would kill me if… if you got hurt because of me." The more she said, the quieter Aven's voice had gotten. She sounded less sure of herself now.

"How do you know something will happen to me?" Rena's voice held a hint of doubt in it that was mixed with a drop of suspicion. Aven was quiet for a minute, until she finally turned to face Rena, but there was a very distressed look on her face.

"Well, that is just the problem, Rena! I don't know if something will happen to you! I hate the uncertainty of all of this! Do you know how long it's been since I have had a vision? A long time, Rena… it's been a long time. I only have nightmares now! And maybe they are visions, but they are so much more confusing! These nightmares are getting in the way of me knowing what is going to happen to us, and I want to know who – or what – is causing them. They are obviously trying to hurt me. So I am going to the Druid camp, where I will seek out the Seer Ysmina. I believe she will be able to help me," Aven said.

"How do you know-"

"I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING FOR SURE RIGHT NOW, RENA!" Aven yelled. This time, Rena just raised an eyebrow.

"You know what I think, Aven? As your best friend, I say you are REALLY tired, and you need to sleep before you make any rash decisions."

"No. I cannot sleep. At least, not without getting some sort of bloody nightmare sent to me. And I would like to see you try and stop me from-"

"I will go get Merlin." Rena's words made Aven freeze.

"…You wouldn't."

"Try me," Rena said, crossing her arms firmly over her chest. "Maybe _I _cannot stop you from leaving, but I know that he can. Besides, you cannot just go off to the Druid camp and leave me here alone with all these people wondering where you are. You know I'm rubbish at keeping secrets, anyway."

"Well, you manage to keep our magic under wraps pretty well," Aven muttered. "And you'd get killed if you couldn't." Rena sighed.

"Look, Aven, the truth is I am just as concerned about this as you are. In fact, I think I should go get Merlin anyway, and the three of us can talk this out. Maybe you _should_ go to the Druid camp, but I don't want you going alone. I wouldn't be able to stand not knowing what was happening with you, and whether or not you were all right. I know Merlin feels the same," Rena said. Aven had to admit, she made a pretty convincing argument. Flicking her hair away from her face, Aven knew she had lost.

"…Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay. Rena, I'm really sorry about… uh, well, about everything." Rena smiled softly.

"It's all right, Aven, I know that you've been a little messed up lately, losing sleep and all," Rena said. Aven nodded, not caring to mention the "and all" part. "I'll just go get Merlin. Do not try and take off before I get back," Rena warned. Despite herself, Aven grinned wryly.

"I wouldn't even dream of it."


	5. That's What You Get

**A/N: **_Whoo! I wasn't sure if I was going to even get to post this week. Just letting you know, I leave you with a VERY evil cliffie this time... Anyway, all the usual: I don't own Merlin/That's What You Get by Paramore (yeah, we're back to my obsession), thanks to Kitty O, Ruby needs to stop harassing me about my writing (read it and flipping ENJOY it, Ruby! :P), and... oh yes, **REVIEW!** Please?_

**5. That's What You Get**

_They are holding you back, _an unfamiliar voice told Aven. _The ones you call friends, they are keeping you from achieving your goal. You want to leave, and they will not let you._

_They only want what is best for me_. Aven found that she was not only trying to convince the voice of this, but herself as well.

She was sitting on her bed with Merlin on her left, and Rena was balanced on the ledge of the window that was a few feet away from the bed.

"If you really want to go find the Druids, Aven, we aren't going to let you go by yourself," Rena said, repeating what she'd said earlier. Aven sighed and reached for Merlin's hand, almost unaware of what she was doing.

"I know that, Rena, but you need to think about this: How suspicious is it going to look if both of us suddenly disappear?" Aven asked.

"Don't leave me out of this," Merlin suddenly said. "If you're going, then so am I."

"Fine, then. More suspicion," Aven said sharply. "Someone is eventually going to put two and two together, and odds are they'll come up with four. Or, rather… the three of us."

"Hmm. It is things like this that just make me want to tell someone about us… someone like Arthur," Rena said, looking at the ground. Aven pursed her lips.

"Rena, we talked about this. He can't keep a secret, you know that. Besides, Xander knows about us," Aven reminded her. Rena nodded, but knew in her heart that that wasn't good enough. "And stop trying to eat your hands, for the love of God!" Rena immediately placed her hands in her lap, not even realizing she'd been biting her nails. _Disgusting habit, _she reprimanded herself.

"So… what are we going to do?" Merlin asked, trying to break the awkward feel of the moment. Aven narrowed her eyes at him.

"You mean what am _I _-"

"No, what are _we _going to do," Merlin said, the look on his face showing that he meant it. "We're in this with you, Aven, whether you like it or not." Aven rolled her eyes.

"I really don't," she grumbled under her breath. Then she sighed, knowing she was fighting a useless battle. "Well, if you both have decided you want to come, then we will leave in the dead of night – tonight – and we cannot tell anyone. No goodbyes… no, Rena, not even Xander," Aven said, seeing the look on her friend's face. Rena nodded, the expression on her face now crestfallen. Seeing this, Aven half-cocked an eyebrow. "Are you sure that you really want to do this, Rena?" Trying to wipe the look of worry off her face, Rena smiled a little.

"I'm up for one more adventure."

* * *

Just as the sun was beginning to set, Aven and Rena snuck out of the castle and down to the stables. They had to prepare the horses before they left so that they could get out of Camelot as quickly as possible.

"So…" Rena began as she entered the gray stallion Smoke's stall. "Remember how we were talking about what would happen if Arthur found out about… us?"

"Yes," Aven said as she rubbed her mare Whisper's neck affectionately. "And I told you that we cannot tell him."

"I know you did, but… well, what do you think he would do if he found out?" Rena asked.

"He's your cousin, shouldn't you know that?"

"Well, yes, but you can read people much better than I can. I figured you'd have a better idea of how he would react," Rena said. She watched as Aven took a carrot from the pocket of her dress and fed it to Whisper, thinking hard about it.

"I suppose that his first instinct would be to lash out at someone… probably Merlin. Then he would probably be less angry and more upset… the upset part of him would most likely be directed towards me. And finally… I think he would just feel disappointed."

"With me?" Rena whispered. Hearing the sad tone of Rena's voice, Aven gave her a sympathetic look.

"Believe me, Rena, he would get over it," Aven promised.

"Then why can't we just tell him?" Rena asked, her demeanor immediately changing as her tone went from sad to exasperated. She was tired of walking on eggshells to keep Arthur from finding out about her secret.

"Because I think we need to delay telling him as long as we possibly can," Aven said. "What I said was just a guess; I cannot know for sure how he will react, and though I am almost certain he would not tell his father… I do not want to take the chance. This might just be one of those things that we have to play by ear."

"Yeah, that's your favorite way to do things, isn't it?" Rena muttered as she and Aven stepped out of the horse's stalls. Aven shrugged.

"It has worked for me for almost twenty years."

"Well, a lot has changed in your life in the past few months. Maybe it is time to switch tactics," Rena suggested.

"…Maybe," Aven muttered. "Tonight, I will take Whisper, you take Smoke, and Merlin can take that black stallion Nightshade, all right?"

"Okay," Rena said, getting a sinking feeling in her stomach. She hoped she was making the right decision, and _not _being a complete idiot...

* * *

Aven had meant it when she said no goodbyes. She wasn't going to say anything to her father or her brother about leaving. She knew Rena wouldn't be able to resist saying something to Arthur… probably something that would sound suspicious… but knowing Arthur, he wouldn't give it a second thought.

There was something Aven had to do, though. As she crept into her parent's chambers that night, she held in her hand her seal of nobility. Clutching it tightly, she moved over to her father's night table, where she placed it gingerly on the polished wood. Her heart fell down into her stomach as she listened to her father's steady breathing as he slept and wondered what would happen if she didn't make it back. She immediately diverted her thoughts once she began considering that.

In Xander's room, she took off her amethyst necklace which had the Vyman family's crest engraved into it and placed it in his slightly opened hand. She had wanted to leave a note with it, but she decided that would be too close to a goodbye and didn't want to be a hypocrite.

Sneaking out of the castle was far too easy. _For a king as paranoid as Uther is, you would think the guards would be more wary after curfew, _Aven mused as she slipped in and out of the shadows. She was thinking about pointless things to try and distract from how nervous she truly was. She chewed her lip as she saw the flickering light of a lantern coming from inside the stables. _Nice job being subtle, Rena, _Aven thought with an eye roll.

"Did you all make it out of the castle without being noticed?" Aven asked as she approached Rena and Merlin. "You know, while you're holding that gigantic glowing lantern?"

"It was the best one I could find on short notice," Rena grumbled defensively.

"It doesn't matter. We should just leave while we can," Aven said. Taking one last look at the castle, she mounted Whisper and watched as Rena and Merlin did the same with their horses. "Are you ready?" the dark-haired girl murmured into Whisper's ear, stroking the mare's mane softly. "Because I'm not. But I hope you're braver than me." Whisper gave a little whinny, and Aven sighed as she took a hold of the reins. Digging her heels into Whisper's side, Aven led the magic trio out of the stables and into the night. Merlin and Rena flanked Aven, and as the princess looked back she tried to pretend she didn't see Rena's eyes glowing with tears. She knew it was harder for Rena to leave Camelot, mostly because of her family. _It was her decision, _Aven reminded herself. Just as the nauseating feeling of guilt was settling its way into her stomach, Aven brought Whisper to a halt as she saw a figure up ahead.

Rena held up the lantern, hoping to catch a glimpse of the figure. The figure didn't move, so the light shone directly on their face.

"A-Arthur," Rena stammered. Whisper snorted and shook her head irritably. She wanted to _move_. So did her rider.

"What are you doing here?" Aven demanded, willing her voice not to break.

"I could ask you the same thing," Arthur said coolly. His eyes shone with anger. Whisper seemed to sense his hostility, and backed up a little.

"Arthur, you have to trust me-" Rena began, her voice desperate.

"Why should I, Rena?" Arthur asked, his voice harsh. "Why should I trust any of you?"

"Because we are your friends," Aven whispered. Arthur glared at her, but Aven's gaze didn't waver.

"What exactly are you doing?" Arthur asked. "Do _not _lie to me."

"Fine. You want the truth, Arthur? The truth is not pretty. And once I tell you, I might have to kill you," Aven said, hoping to spark some sort of worry in the prince. But Arthur just rolled his eyes.

"I've known you for ten years, Aven. I was _engaged _to you. I know all of your scare tactics." _Not all of them, _Aven thought.

"…Fine," Aven grumbled. "The truth is… when I was living by myself, I met some people that I think can help Camelot right now. I don't want to see your home under attack, and apparently neither do they," Aven said, jerking her head back to indicate Merlin and Rena. "I know someone who can help us, Arthur, but when I bring them back you will have to trust me-"

"And here we go again with the "trust"," Arthur interrupted. "And why is _Merlin _with you?"

"Because he knows his way through certain parts of the forest better than I do," Aven said quickly. "I stayed away from Camelot for the most part when I was gone, you know."

"Well, why didn't you ask me to come with you?" Arthur asked. _Huh, jealous much? _Aven wondered.

"I did not ask him, he just decided to come. And the sooner we leave, the sooner we can-"

"Oh, no, you three are not going _anywhere_," Arthur said, using his most official, firm tone.

"And you're going to stop us?" Aven asked, raising an eyebrow. "Doubtful."

"Listen, Aven, if we send some of my father's men out to find-"

"No!" Aven yelled hastily. "These people will only trust me. If we send your father's men, they will surely see it as a threat and they will never help us." Aven could practically see the wheels turning in Arthur's head as he thought over her words. A look of realization came over his face as he realized who she was speaking of.

"Oh, God, Aven, please tell me you're not talking about…" Arthur couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence. Aven nodded solemnly.

"The Druids," she whispered. "But there is only one I need to see. Her name is Ysmina, and she would never do anything to hurt Camelot or anyone in it," Aven promised.

"Aven, you cannot trust _any _of the Druids-"

"You're wrong." Aven's voice was cold, and Merlin and Rena could only watch uncomfortably as her argument with Arthur began to reach a desperate point.

"What?"

"You're wrong, Arthur. You think you cannot trust the Druids? Watch this." Aven jumped off of Whisper, and Rena watched in horror as she turned her back to Arthur and slipped part of her tunic off of her shoulder, revealing to the now very confused prince her Druid tattoo.


	6. Show Me What I'm Looking For

**A/N: **_Hello, faithful readers! Did you miss me last week? Because I certainly missed you! I finished my BIG school project this week, and hopefully I'll be free this weekend to write more. As always, I don't own Merlin/Show Me What I'm Looking For by Carolina Liar, thanks to Kitty O, and Ruby needs to stop harassing me about my writing in the car (when I haven't slept). -.- Oh, and next chapter I'm going to give you all some teeth-rotting fluff since I seem to be skimping on that as of late. And then you'll all get mad at me later on. And then you'll love me again..._

**6. Show Me What I'm Looking For**

Arthur stared at Aven's back, which still had the partial Druid tattoo on it. Aven's was in the shape of a crescent moon with thorns woven around it.

"This is what happens when you live with the Druids for too long," Aven murmured, her back still turned to Arthur. She wasn't even sure if he could hear her. "You become one of them. I do not want to finish what I started…" she said, motioning to her tattoo. "But I cannot go back in time and change what I did. There is a part of me that belongs to the Druids. I would like to get it back, but I can't. So, you either trust me as a partial Druid, or you do not trust me at all."

All four were silent. Aven nonchalantly pulled her the rest of her tunic back over her shoulder, mounted Whisper and faced a shocked Arthur.

"I… I thought you had to have magic to be a Druid," Arthur muttered, not knowing what else to say. Aven's mouth nearly dropped open. _Arthur Pendragon, you are the thickest man I have ever met, and you trust me far too much. That might get you killed._ She just shook her head.

"Generally, yes, but if you show loyalty, then… exceptions can be made…" she trailed off. All right, it wasn't _exactly _true… In fact, it was an outright lie, and any respectable person (with or without magic) would know that, but she thought that Arthur would have been able to realize that she was magic. Since he hadn't, it was like what she had said to Rena, she wanted to prolong Arthur finding out for as long as possible.

Arthur looked at the ground, confused. All of the information had hit him like an arrow whizzing through the air. Aven? A Druid?

"You can turn me into your father," Aven said quietly. Arthur looked up at her, blinking owlishly. Merlin shot her a warning glance. "But if you do, then I will be gone before anyone can do anything. And this time I will not come back."

"We will find you." It was hardly a threat on Arthur's part.

"I don't think you will."

"We will find the Druids. And we will kill every one of them." Aven scoffed at this.

"Now you are just being stupid, Arthur. You know you cannot. Are you going to let us go?" she asked. Rena sighed. This was what Aven was born to do. Manipulate and deceive.

Everyone was silent again. Finally Arthur made a decision.

"No. I am coming with you." This was greeted with looks of mutual shock from everyone.

"Arthur…" Rena said softly. "I don't think that's such a good idea-"

"No, Rena," Arthur said, holding up a hand to stop his cousin. "I am coming with you."

"That _wasn't _what I meant, Arthur," Aven said through gritted teeth, her eyes closed in frustration. "I _meant _that you need to go back to your pretty little castle, leave us alone, and let me do what I need to do to save your arse," Aven snarled. All Arthur did was raise an eyebrow.

Ten minutes later, Arthur was mounted on the stallion Merlin had been riding, Nightshade, Merlin was on Smoke, while Aven and Rena were on Whisper. All four of them were riding into the forest, and they all knew there was no turning back now. In her head, Aven sighed dejectedly.

_Here we go again…_

Even as they got to the very depths of the forest Aven refused to admit that Arthur had won their argument. _Stalemate, _she thought. _That is what it was. And I will admit he won the argument when he admits Rena and Morgana used to beat him in swordfights._ And Aven knew that would never happen.

Suddenly, Whisper froze. She reared back slightly, which scared Aven and Rena.

"Whoa, whoa! What was that?" Rena cried, panicked.

"I don't know! She must have heard something," Aven said, stroking the mare gently. Nightshade and Smoke hadn't moved, but then again Whisper had been in the lead. Aven turned to her companions and placed a finger over her lips, jumping off of Whisper. Arthur made a move to get off of Nightshade, but Aven shot him a "don't you dare" glare and he stayed on. No one heard or saw any signs of movement or life in the forest. Aven wasn't sure what she was going to do if she did happen to come across a threat… she couldn't do magic anymore, thanks to Arthur coming along, and she sure as heck couldn't fight with a sword. She could make a good cut with her dagger, but sword fighting was something she had never excelled at. Maybe that was why she had felt so at home when she had been living with the once-peaceful Druids…

Aven was shaken out of her musings by a sudden magical presence she had picked up. She looked over her shoulder at Rena and raised both eyebrows discreetly, telling the blonde-haired girl that there was someone – or something – in the forest with them. Rena nodded. As Aven turned back, she found herself suddenly standing face-to-face with a familiar figure.

"Oh my God, Damien!" she yelped, putting a hand over her heart. "You scared the living hell out of me!" The man, Damien, smiled softly.

"Sorry about that, Avianna. I did not recognize you. You seem… different," he said, looking her over. For a minute, Aven was speechless, just looking at Damien. The look on Rena's face went from just plain confused to worried and confused. Damien was very good looking, with green eyes and light brown hair. He had a strong, muscular build not unlike Arthur or Xander.

"Um… y-yeah… yeah, I guess I am," Aven stammered, pushing a loose curl behind her ear. This time Rena raised an eyebrow. She had never really seen Aven get this flustered over anything – or anyone – before. She didn't like it much. "And, for the record, my name is not Avianna. It's Aven."

"Not that I am not glad to see you… _Aven_…but what are you doing here?" Damien asked, his eyes scanning Rena, Arthur, and Merlin. _Translation: Why are _they_ here with you? I would like to have you here alone, _Rena thought. She _really _didn't like the way Damien was looking at Aven. It was almost as if…

Oh, no. Oh, _no_…

_Whoa, hold on a second, _Rena told herself. _Maybe you're over-analyzing this. Besides, Aven is totally and completely in love with Merlin, right? Yeah._

"So, Aven, where are you headed?" Damien inquired. Rena mentally slapped herself for missing part of Aven and Damien's conversation while she was lost in her own world.

"Oh, uh, we were just… you know, it is a funny story, we were actually looking for you… well, I mean not _you _specifically, of course… that would be weird." By now _everyone _was giving Aven strange looks, except for Damien. He was just smiling at her. "We were looking for… for the whole Druid camp." Arthur looked uneasy when Aven reminded him of this, and it seemed as though Damien finally realized just who Aven was traveling with.

"Um, Aven, if I could have a word with you for a minute...?" Damien murmured, pulling her away from the other three. Merlin was glaring daggers into Damien's head. "Listen, Aven_,_" Damien said, talking in a hushed tone. "I do not think it is a good idea if your… companions… come to the camp with us." Aven raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest, her left hip out to the side.

"Well, Damien, I need you to understand that my traveling companions are just that. I know they will not be welcome, but let's face it, I there is not a great chance that I will be either. So, my 'companions' can come to the camp with me, or we will _all_ turn around and walk away." Damien knew that Aven was only challening him, and he gave her a desperate look, as though he was going to protest what she had said, but before she could let herself feel any sort of emotion, Aven turned on her heel and went back to Rena, Merlin, and Arthur.

"What happened?" Merlin whispered into her ear.

"I will tell you later," she promised. Aven's gaze was directed towards Damien, so she couldn't see the doubtful, protective look Merlin was giving her. She watched Damien lean onto the nearest tree and consider his next move. _Sometimes talking to Aven is like playing a game of chess, _he thought. _She is the queen, obviously… and I don't think I can walk away from this match with my dignity unless I forfeit…_

"Fine," Damien blurted out, not looking up at Aven.

"We can all go?" Aven clarified.

"…Yes. But do not expect me to cover for you," Damien said, looking Aven dead in the eye.

"I will not," Aven said, dipping her head slightly in a show of respect. As Aven turned back and saw Arthur's expression, she noticed he looked like he was going to be sick.

"What are you afraid of?" Aven asked, speaking in a soft whisper so that he wasn't humiliated in front of the others. "I promise nothing will happen to you." Arthur grunted.

"I do _not _need your promise of protection, Aven."

"You are still scared. Arthur, I will not let anything happen to you, or to Rena," Aven said, putting her left hand over her heart and holding up her right hand. "I swear it."

"You always do keep your word," Arthur murmured.

"And this time is no different," Aven assured him. She went to rejoin Merlin, who did not look particularly happy with her at that moment. Damien was leading the four travelers into the camp, with Aven and Merlin behind him. Rena fell back towards Arthur, even though she knew that she would have better protection from Aven if they were in magical territory. Merlin and Aven were mostly silent, not talking even as they approached the Druid camp. Aven noticed how it seemed broken, as though something had brutally attacked it.

_What happened here? _Aven wondered. _Surely I cannot have only Arthur to blame for this… and even then that would not be fair, for I am sure he was just following his father's orders. _Aven was sure that Arthur didn't have the same coldness in his heart that his father did…

That maybe he knew the murder of those with magic was wrong…

And maybe he would accept Aven, Rena, and Merlin's magic easily...

_But now is certainly not the time to test those ideas, _Aven reminded herself. _Focus._

Suddenly, in front of Damien's path appeared another familiar figure from Aven's past in the Druid camp.

"Well, would you look at what we have here," a young woman mused. "Look at what Damien has brought back for us."

"Stop trying to start trouble, Rowan. That _is_ what you were always famous for." Aven quickly sprang at the woman before anyone else could interject. Rowan narrowed her eyes.

"Why are you back here, Avianna?"

"That is not my name," Aven muttered through gritted teeth.

"Oh, yes, I remember… Avianna, Avi, Aven… you lied to us all, so does it really matter?"

"It does to me, yes." Merlin, Arthur, and Rena all watched in confusion as Aven glared at the woman she so clearly had a score to settle with. Damien sighed, remembering how Rowan had never really accepted Aven the way most of the other Druids had. Aven hadn't liked Rowan anyway, so the two of them made for ugly enemies.

"I asked you a question… Aven. Why are you here?" Rowan asked, placing her hands on her hips. She was slender with brown eyes and brown hair, but her eyes, Merlin noted, weren't like Aven's. Even back when Aven was Avianna... Rowan's were cold and hardly held a speck of emotion in them. As of that moment she definitely looked worse for the wear. Aven blinked, carefully choosing her words.

"I am here because people I care about are in danger. And I thought maybe Ysmina could help me… well, not specifically me-"

"Because you deserve nothing," Rowan snarled. "You deserve nothing from Ysmina and nothing from the rest of us. You killed the two people that we going to lead the Druids to a better future, where we could-"

"Rowan!" Both Aven and Rowan's heads turned at the sound of an older female voice, one which Aven was quite grateful to hear.

"Ysmina?"

"Avi – Aven," Ysmina greeted the young witch, careful to call her by her real name. "Welcome back, dear." Rowan stared at Ysmina in shock.

"You cannot be serious," Rowan muttered. "You are going to _welcome _this traitor back? She was never a Druid, and she never will be. She has no right to be here." For the time being, both Aven and Ysmina decided it was best to just ignore Rowan.

"Ysmina," Aven began, stepping forward. "I – er, _we _– came here because-"

"Because your land is in peril," Ysmina finished. Aven nodded.

"I sort of forgot that you know… everything," she admitted. Then she lowered her voice so that only Ysmina could hear what she was saying. "I also came because of some visions I have been getting lately, and I thought that you might be able to enlighten me on them."

"I know, that, Aven. I promise I will help you in every way I can." Aven smiled at the woman who had been the only real mother figure she had ever known, and was sure that Ysmina would keep her word.

"The four of you can come with me; I promise that no harm will come to any of you," Ysmina said, looking directly at Arthur as she did so. The prince looked doubtful, but there was just something about the way Aven trusted this woman that made him think he should too.

Aven had never been especially close to the people in the Druid camp, except for Elrich and Ysmina. But seeing the devastation in the camp made her heart ache a little bit. For a while, the camp had almost seemed more like home than Kierian. Then she killed Elrich, and that was the end of that. But the Druids, well, most of them, had sheltered her when she had been lost and confused after she'd run away from her arranged marriage. They had taken her in when she'd had no where else to go. Now, she needed them once again. And all she'd done for them was kill Elrich and Alvarr, therefore ruining some of their lives. Or at least they believed she had, because none of them had gotten a chance to see the two men for what they really had been.

As Rowan watched Aven, Merlin, Rena, and Arthur follow Ysmina further into the camp, she stared angrily at Aven's back, wishing that looks _could _kill.

Rowan wasn't a jealous woman. She wasn't jealous of Aven. She just thought that Aven deserved to die. And that was perfectly reasonable, wasn't it?

Rowan's parents had been killed when she was very young, and yet no one paid a lick of attention to her. _It happens, _she thought. But what made her really angry was that Aven had been the center of everyone's attention back when she was Avianna, and all she'd done was get lost in the forest.

Alright, maybe Rowan was a _bit _jealous of Aven. But now, Rowan had a chance to mess with her. If Aven was having nightmares and she wanted help… well, maybe Rowan couldn't manipulate Aven herself, but perhaps the witch's followers wouldn't be quite so clever…

And it was Rowan's twisted smile that revealed all.


	7. Remember December

**A/N: **_Hello all! Sorry I missed my update day, I was at my friend's production of Oklahoma!, which was great._

_..._

_You don't care._

_Anyway, you might need a dentist after reading the second part of this chapter, because of the impressive amount ofsickly sweet fluff that I promised. Late Valentine's Day gift to you all, eh? :) __As usual, thanks to Kitty O, I don't own Merlin/Remember December by Demi Lovato... and you'll never guess what the next few chapters have in store for you all. Oh, I also have a secret surprise for you Arwen shippers, but... it's a secret! Enjoy, and review, por favor!_

**7. Remember December**

"You were very kind to welcome myself and my companions into your camp, Ysmina," Aven said, as the older woman passed her a clay mug of steaming tea. Ysmina smiled softly at her.

"Aven, I could never turn you away. To me, you were like the daughter I never had."

"And you the mother that I – well, the mother _figure, _at least," Aven said, chuckling a little as she sipped her tea. It was late at night, and Ysmina had given Merlin and Arthur a tent to share, where Aven guessed they were probably asleep. Rena was in the tent that Aven was supposed to be sharing with her, but Aven had needed a word with Ysmina, so she was currently the elder Seer's tent.

"Have you Seen anything about this happening? About me coming?" Aven asked while she watched Ysmina sit down across from her.

"Yes, I saw your return. Although I cannot say that I expected you to come with… guests," Ysmina said, pouring herself some tea.

"Believe me, I did not want to," Aven murmured, looking at the floor. "Well, I suppose it's not so bad. Two of them are magic… I assume you picked up on that?" Ysmina shook her head.

"Actually, Aven, all three of your friends have magic in them." Hearing this, Aven choked on the tea and made some rather unattractive coughing noises.

"What?" she finally managed to squeak out. "But… but I could not sense Arthur's magic…"

"He does not possess magical powers, dear," Ysmina explained, laying a comforting hand on Aven's arm. "He was _born_ of magic. His mother could not conceive, so his father asked the witch Nimueh for help."

"Is that why Queen Ygraine died?" Aven asked softly, her speaking voice having returned to normal.

"Yes. You know the law of the ancient ways-"

"To create a life, a life must be taken," Aven and Ysmina both recited. Aven sighed.

"Does Arthur know?"

"Yes."

"Great. _Wonderful_. I am sure that will just make him _love _magic," Aven muttered sarcastically.

"He does have a good head on his shoulders," Ysmina reminded her. _You really remind me of Rena sometimes, Ysmina, _Aven thought. Always wanting to see the good and people and believe that Arthur wasn't going to royally mess up Camelot…

Aven liked to keep an open mind about that one.

"I know, but still… how can I convince him that magic is not evil?" Aven asked.

"Well, you know that you cannot do that on your own," Ysmina said.

"Of course. Hell, I'm just his ex-fiancé, why should he listen to me anyway? I suppose Rena and Merlin will have to help me with that task, won't they?" Aven mused, knowing the answer.

"They will," Ysmina confirmed. "Now, Aven, about you and Merlin..." Ysmina smiled slyly and motioned for Aven to continue the sentence. Aven drew in a sharp breath.

"Well, Merlin and I are… we're… I mean, we are together, but no one can know, apart from Rena. I had to tell her, of course; she is my best friend," Aven said.

"What about Arthur? He is Rena's cousin and Merlin's best friend," Ysmina pointed out.

"Not that they know it yet," Aven said. "Or at least won't admit it. But what you say is true, and… there is a lot that Arthur cannot know."

"Well, maybe this trip is the perfect time for him to find out. Not only that his best friend is in love, but about your magic as well." Ysmina suggested.

"Actually, I was trying to put it off for as long as possible. Perhaps while Arthur is here, he will be able to see that magic can be used for good. I won't use the 'magic is like a sword' analogy because I have gotten tired of that cliché," Aven added. Ysmina laughed softly.

"I keep forgetting, Aven, that you are not the same young girl I knew two years ago. To see the woman that you have grown into… I feel the same sense of pride that I did when I saw how wonderfully you understood your powers and the good that you wanted to use them for," Ysmina said, truly unable to believe that the strong, confident princess that she was speaking to used to be a scared, lost sixteen-year-old girl in the woods. "I will look for a protection spell, maybe then we can block the outside source of your dreams from your mind."

"Thank you, Ysmina. I owe you the world, and I promise, someday I will find a way to pay back everything that you have done for me," Aven said. She absent-mindedly looked down at her chest, to where the beginning of one of her scars was peeking out ever-so-slightly from her tunic. Looking back up, she caught Ysmina's watchful eye.

"Aven, there is nothing wrong with you," the Seer said softly. Aven sighed.

"I know, I know... it's just... well, these _scars_. If was not with Merlin - and thank God I am - do you know how hard it would be for me to find someone to marry me once they learned of these scars? Believe me, they're hideous. You have no idea." Ysmina smiled wryly.

"You think I have no idea what it is like to be feel embarrassed because of the markings on your body?" Ysmina lifted up her long brown dress slightly, and Aven nearly gasped audibly as she saw scars all over the older woman's legs.

"Oh, Ysmina, I'm so sorry; I didn't know..." Ysmina smiled, a real smile this time, and released the hem of her dress.

"That's all right, Aven. Now... you had a scar on your face when you left this camp, correct?"

"Yes, but I can cover that up with a glamour. The ones on my chest and stomach... I simply cannot. I just don't know how," Aven admitted.

"Again, Aven, even with your scars, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Remember, dear, sometimes scars gathered in a fight for good are more beautiful then even the clearest, most unblemished skin." Aven failed to see how this was true, but decided it wasn't her place to question the wiser woman's words.

And they turned out to be quite true in the end.

* * *

Aven knew that the next morning would come far too quickly for her liking. Not only would she probably not get enough sleep, but with each day came a chance for Arthur to find out about the magic that every single person in that camp (apart from himself) possessed. Aven had already warned Ysmina and Damien that Arthur could _not _discover her magic, and of course threatened Rowan. There was no such thing as a civil conversation with someone like Rowan.

_Speak – or think, rather – of the devil and the devil shall appear_, Aven thought as Rowan approached her.

"Yes?" Aven asked testily, arms crossed defensively over her chest.

"Ysmina and Damien may not be able to see through you, but I sure can," Rowan sneered. Aven shrugged.

"I have nothing to hide from you."

"Oh, but you have lots of things to hide from someone else. The prince, maybe? For the life of me, I cannot understand why Ysmina would let him into our camp. You know, her taking over after Alvarr's death was the worst thing that ever happened to this camp. She is far too lenient. And for that, all of the Druids are going to suffer," Rowan said.

"Okay, first thing's first. I told you that Arthur _cannot _know of my magic. If he does, you would-"

"Shut up, Aven," Rowan snapped. Aven's anger bristled.

"_What_ did you say to me?"

"You know what? I do not want you dead. I hate you, but you should not die," Rowan said. Aven snorted.

"Wow, _thanks_."

"No, I have something different in mind for you," Rowan mused, tapping her chin with her finger. Aven rolled her eyes. She was tired of playing Rowan's manipulative games.

"What the hell do you have against me, Rowan? What have I ever done to you?" Aven snapped. Rowan frowned.

"It was what you did to this camp. You made Maeva leave while she was _with child_-"

"It was her decision to leave, remember?" Aven interjected.

"Yes, because the father of her child decided that she was no longer enough for him and that he wanted _you_ instead." Aven wanted to say something but found that she couldn't. She pursed her lips thoughtfully and looked at the ground.

"…And it was my decision to let Elrich become a part of my life," she finally said. "It was the worst decision I ever made. But I didn't know that Maeva had been with child. Believe me; I would have turned Elrich away as soon as I figured that out."

"Yes, well, that's all well and good, Aven, but let's not forget that you also killed not only Elrich, but Alvarr as well, who was going to lead the Druids into a better future. I know he could have," Rowan said.

_Oh, I am _so _done with her,_ Aven thought. Rowan had been in Alvarr's rebellion group, and she had honestly believed that going to war against Camelot was the right thing to do.

"Rowan, I am not going to sit here and apologize for something I did that I thought was right. I am not going to tell you what to do, but I would highly advise you staying away from my friends and myself. Because I know you, Rowan, and you could never kill someone in cold blood. But you would ruin their lives and let them suffer, wouldn't you?" Aven sounded like she knew the answer.

"Hmm. You refer to your traveling companions as friends, but that one… Merlin… well, he is most definitely not just a friend to you, am I right?"

Aven didn't answer. Her face was stricken.

"Oh, this is _great_!" Rowan said, laughing cruelly. "Oh, Avianna, the non-believer, the one who trusted no man except for Elrich… fallen in love?" Visibly, Aven shrunk back. Rowan could attack her as a person all she wanted, but when she went after _Merlin_… Well, that was a different story.

"Sure. Yes. Put it that way. I _did_ fall in love. But are you really going to do something as petty as that to get back at me for whatever it is you seem to think I did? Apparently I ruined your life, so now you want to ruin mine?" Rowan just smirked. She had Aven right where she wanted her.

"Maybe I _would_ do something as petty as that.. All I know for sure is this: you had better not mess up. This is your last chance… _princess._"

After Rowan left, Aven tried to pretend she wasn't sick with worry.

* * *

Merlin knew it would be harsh to say that Arthur ruined everything. Because, well, he didn't ruin _everything_… just most things.

For example: Merlin had thought that, since it was originally going to be himself, Aven, and Rena on this quest, he wouldn't have to hide his relationship with Aven, or his magic. Now, there was no way he could be open about it. And with that Damien character leering over Aven…

Yeah, Arthur ruined everything.

At least now Arthur was asleep, so Merlin didn't have to bite back the urge to use some very harsh language around him. Merlin knew he should probably be sleeping as well, but he needed a chance to think, so he was currently sitting in front of a small fire he'd made about ten meters in front of his and Arthur's tent. He was also waiting for Aven to return from seeing Ysmina. He looked at Rena and Aven's tent, which was right next to his and Arthur's, where he knew Rena was asleep.

He heard someone approaching, and saw that Aven was walking towards him, her eyes focused on the ground and an anxious look on her face.

"Aven?" Merlin called out. Aven jerked her head up and forced the best smile she could.

"Merlin, shouldn't you be asleep?" she asked, trying not to show how worried she was. Merlin, however, saw right through her.

"Er, I guess. Are you all right?" Aven nodded and walked up to her tent, stepping inside quickly and grabbing a blanket. She went back over to Merlin and wrapped the blanket around both of their shoulders.

"To answer your question, I'm fine," Aven said. "Slightly cold and a bit annoyed with Arthur, but I'm fine." Merlin smiled.

"Well, that makes two of us, then."

"Mmm." Aven sighed and rested her head on Merlin's shoulder. "This is a lot to take in, isn't it?" she muttered. Merlin didn't say anything; instead he just listened to the fire crackling mixed with the sound of Aven's heartbeat, and wrapped an arm around her tightly.

"I love you," he murmured, kissing her hair. Aven smiled, the way she always did when Merlin said that. She picked her head up and kissed him softly, letting her lips linger on his longer than she usually did. Arthur was asleep, so who was going to catch them? She just wanted this moment for herself and Merlin.

"I love you, too. And nothing is ever going to change that," Aven said. _No matter what Rowan tries to do, she can't change that, _the princess thought smugly. _One small victory for me._

"Do you feel okay, Aven? About… being here?" Merlin asked, feeling awkward since he knew how personal a lot of things associated with the Druid camp were to Aven.

"…Yes. The things that happened here… well, they heal over time, you know?" Immediately, Merlin had a rather painful flashback to losing Freya. Aven had helped heal that wound, and she'd sped up the healing process for him. He owed her a lot for that.

"Besides, things are a lot different now," Aven continued. "I have you, Rena, and even Arthur to keep me from going mad. When I first came here, I was so… alone. That was the hardest thing, you know?"

"I promise, Aven, that I will never let you feel like that ever again," Merlin said, looking deeply into Aven's eyes. Aven swallowed sadness, knowing he meant what he was saying. _But that doesn't always work out, _she thought.

"I wish we didn't have to keep this secret," Aven sighed. "Actually, there are a lot of things I wish we didn't have to keep a secret."

"I know, love."

"How do you think Arthur would react if he found out about… us?" Aven asked, moving her hand between the two of them. "Do you think he would understand?"

"I think he would… you know, with him and Gwen…"

"Right, I'd forgotten about that," Aven said. "Even if he didn't understand… well, I'm sorry, but he would have to move past that. Because, like I said, nothing is going to change the way I feel about you. I love you." With that, Aven kissed Merlin again, but this time it was different. There was more passion and desire in this kiss than the first one. But it was out of devotion, never desperation. Merlin placed his hands on either side of her waist, and Aven smiled into the kiss as she brought her arms together behind his neck, deciding that she would be content to stay like this for a long time. Unfortunately, her lungs betrayed her once again, and she was forced to break the kiss.

"You mean the world to me, Aven Vyman," Merlin said, catching his breath as he pressed his forehead to Aven's. "I will not lose you."

"Believe me, you would have to try pretty hard to get rid of me now," Aven said, laughing softly as she buried her head in his neckerchief. "I am not going anywhere."


	8. Paralyzer

**A/N: **_Look, I'm actually updating on update day! So, I don't own Merlin/Paralyzer by Finger Eleven... and thanks to Kitty O for beta-ing. Did you all enjoy the last chapter? I hope so. Please please review... I won't beg but... PLEASE!_

**8. Paralyzer**

Arthur sat in his tent, dazed, contemplating what he had just seen. Merlin and Aven had been talking in hushed tones by the fire, sitting _extremely _close…

And then they'd kissed.

They'd kissed twice, as Arthur recalled. Aven had initiated the kiss both times. They had been speaking softly, the way that only lovers would. But, no, Aven and _Merlin_? Aven, who seemed to hate men and didn't believe in love, and Merlin, who was never any good with women to begin with? No.

Then again, it would make sense, Arthur supposed. It would explain why Merlin had practically gone into a state of dormancy when Aven left. It would explain why Merlin and Aven constantly went missing at the same exact time…

Arthur decided that he would have to talk to the one who probably knew the most about this: Rena. He didn't doubt that she knew about Merlin and Aven, because if there was something Rena was good at, it was decoding people's love lives. And since Aven and Rena seemed to be very good friends... well, it would just make sense.

With Merlin and Aven focused on both each other (_ugh_, Arthur thought), it wasn't hard to sneak past them and into Rena's tent. Arthur could tell that his cousin was only half-asleep, so he shook her shoulder gently and whispered her name. Rena made a sort of "mmmerph?" noise and sat up slowly. Rubbing her eyes and letting them adjust, Rena looked at her

"Arthur?" she hissed. "What are you doing?"

"I just saw something… rather interesting. Come with me," he said, ushering her outside. Rena stumbled tiredly out of the tent, but her eyes widened and brightened happily as she saw Aven and Merlin by the fire.

"Aww," she breathed, giggling slightly. "That's so…" She caught sight of Arthur's annoyed glare. "Oh. That's, um… this is not good." Arthur rolled his eyes angrily and dragged Rena back into the tent.

"Did you know about this?" he growled. "How many secrets are you keeping from me, Rena?" Rena saddened at the hurt and angry look on Arthur's face. She could only imagine what this must be like for him. After all, he hardly ever let his guard down around people,

"I have known for a while, yes," she admitted. "I… I wanted to tell you… I figured that you would understand, because… Arthur, I know of your feelings for Guinevere." At this, Arthur's expression became less angry. "So, you understand why we were trying to keep it a secret, yeah?"

Arthur sighed. "Unfortunately, yes, I understand."

"It was just… the more people that knew, the greater chance there was of your father or Aven's father finding out, and where would that leave us?"

"In a very bad place," Arthur muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. "So, Aven and Merlin are…?"

Rena smiled softly. "Arthur, let me put it to you this way. Saying Aven and Merlin are _sort of _in love is like saying your father _sort of_ dislikes magic," Rena explained. Arthur didn't say anything, which gave Rena (ever the hopeless romantic) a chance to launch into the speech she'd wanted to give for what seemed like forever.

"You know, I think Aven has actually been in love with Merlin the whole time, because when she met him, she didn't kill him. And… well, she sort of had a habit of doing that, what with living on her own, you know? Then he brought her to Camelot, right before you left in that battle with the Druids… remember that? Anyway, something _must _have happened, because all of a sudden Aven was irrevocably and irreversibly in love with Merlin, even though she wouldn't admit it of course, but it just made me think-"

"Rena, are you quite finished?" Arthur interrupted, looking annoyed. Rena nodded solemnly. "So, how long has their… _relationship _been going on?" Arthur asked.

"Um… it started about the time you got engaged to Aven for the second time." The look of shock on Arthur's face caused Rena to have to stifle a laugh. "I know, doesn't that just make you feel great?" she giggled. Arthur raised a disapproving eyebrow, which immediately silenced her. "Sorry."

Arthur sighed again. "…All right. Get some sleep, okay?" Rena nodded and hugged Arthur tightly, apologizing over and over for keeping yet another secret from him. She thought about how bad the situation would be when he found out about her magic.

She decided she didn't want to think about that anymore.

* * *

The next morning, Aven brought Rena and Merlin to Ysmina's tent, where they hoped that the experienced Seer would have an idea of who was sending Aven nightmares and who attacked Camelot on the night of the celebration. Aven had sent Arthur away, telling him to "go off and hunt something". As usual, he would just get in the way of their plans.

"…So you see, this is how we know Arthur will _never _be like Uther," Aven explained as the magic trio made their way to Ysmina's tent. "Uther would not even set _foot _in this camp… not without trying to kill everyone, at least."

Rena laughed. "True, very true, my friend. Arthur does not seem too fond of this place, but who knows? Maybe he'll warm up to the idea of not killing those with magic back in Camelot," she said.

Aven gave her a skeptical look. "…Yeah, let's not go mad here, Rena," Aven muttered as the three approached Ysmina's tent. It was much larger than most of the other tents, and no matter what time of day it happened to be, the tent was always very, very dark.

Ysmina was seated behind a rectangular table, over which a white cloth and crystal ball were placed. Aven smiled and shook her head upon seeing this.

"Ysmina, I thought we talked about the crystal ball being a cliché…"

"Yes, dear, but it is a cliché for a reason… It works," Ysmina explained, motioning for Aven, Rena, and Merlin to sit in the three chairs opposite herself. "Now, Aven, you've been having some troublesome nightmares, correct?"

"Yes, and I know they aren't visions, just… really disturbing nightmares. Someone is trying to mess with my mind," Aven said.

"All right, well, hands on the crystal, all of you," Ysmina instructed. Aven, Merlin, and Rena placed their right hands on the crystal ball, and Ysmina closed her eyes. "Aven… before we begin, have you done anything to anger any sorcerers lately?" Ysmina asked, her eyes still shut. Aven thought for a second.

"Not recently, no. Not since Alvarr's death, actually," she said.

"Mm, if you say so," Ysmina murmured, her face twitching as she began looking into the crystal ball. Aven raised both eyebrows in disbelief.

"Um, _what_?"

Ysmina held up a hand to silence her. "Aven, I think you cause more trouble than you realize," the older woman said. "I honestly mean that in the kindest way possible, but I believe is something you will want to see." A wary look came over Aven's face, but she closed her eyes as she heard Ysmina begin to whisper an ancient spell.

_"Dangoswch i ni beth yw ein dymuniad i weld…"_

_ When Aven opened her eyes, she was no longer with Ysmina, Rena, and Merlin. She was by herself in a dark, damp cave. _Well, great, _she thought sarcastically. After a minute of looking around and seeing nothing but darkness, she realized she could hear voice over to her left. Following the sound, she came upon two women standing at the entrance of the cave, which was lined with torches, as it was the dead of night._

_ "We may not be able to find Emrys, but now that we know who _Aella _is, perhaps we can lure her over to our side," a blonde woman said. Aven almost audibly gasped, but she knew better than that._

_ "And if she should refuse to come?" a woman with dark hair asked, sounding like she knew the answer. The dark-haired woman looked so familiar to Aven…_

_ "Then we will kill her friends. She will have nowhere left to turn," the blonde said, grinning maliciously. Aven's eyebrows furrowed, and her mouth turned down at the corners. _They cannot be talking about…

_"She will not hesitate to retaliate, though, will she?" the dark-haired woman asked, interrupting Aven's thoughts. The blonde let out a little sound of amusement._

_ "She will be far too broken up to retaliate, sister. Believe me, she puts up a guarded front, but it is true what she says… the more people she lets in, the weaker she becomes. She has let in far too many people even for her own liking, and she will pay for that. She will pay for many things. Morgana, when our time comes, you can be sure that Camelot will see a quick and disastrous downfall," the blonde woman said. Aven closed her eyes, wanting to get away from the sight in front of her. She just wanted to get away from it all…_

Aven opened her eyes, and she was back in Ysmina's tent with Merlin and Arthur.

"Well?" Ysmina had an expectant look on her face. Aven looked at the ground.

"I… I saw Morgana… and her sister… they were talking about… about me." Aven's voice got quieter with each word.

"What did they call you, Aven? I didn't quite understand that bit," Ysmina said, her expression becoming thoughtful.

"You do not remember that name?" The look on Aven's face was grim. "What I used to be called… _Aella._ It meant something like 'whirlwind'." Aven shrugged. Merlin and Rena hadn't seen what she had, so why should she worry them and show how scared she was?

"Oh." Ysmina's response was quiet; almost a whisper. Rena and Merlin looked at each other, then at Aven for an explanation.

She didn't give them one.

* * *

Merlin decided to give Aven a few hours to herself after they left Ysmina's tent, figuring that she would talk when she was ready, and she just needed to process whatever it was she had seen.

Rena knew her better than that.

"All right, Aven. You need to talk to me." Rena got right to the point as soon as she and Aven were alone in their tent.

"What is there to talk about? You seem to have this unrequited desire to-"

"Aven, I am _not _Arthur. Do _not _use big words to try and confuse me," Rena interrupted.

"It isn't even that big a word! And why would I try to confuse you?"

"To make me stop asking you questions about what happened back there with Ysmina."

"And why would I want to do _that_?" At this, Rena rolled her eyes.

"_Now _you just want to get off-topic, but I know your tricks, Ave."

"Oh, I'm sure I still have a few up my sleeve you have yet to discover," Aven murmured, grinning. Rena didn't smile, though; she just gave Aven a look that clearly said "I'm waiting". Aven sighed, knowing that Rena wasn't going to let the matter drop, so she decided that she just had to tell her the truth.

"All right, if you _really _want to know what happened…" Aven sighed again. "Morgana… er, after her "disappearance"… and I use that term loosely… joined forces with her sister - whose name I still don't know - and they are planning to use my friendship with you and my relationship with Merlin against me. I fear they want to hurt you." Everything that Aven said was quite rushed and it all hastily came out of her mouth. She didn't want to give her brain a chance to fabricate a lie, and she didn't want her brain to convince her mouth that lying to Rena would be the right thing to do.

"Morgana?" Rena asked, her facial expression being one of disbelief. "She… she…"

"Listen, Rena, I know this has to be strange for you…" Aven trailed off, not quite sure how to sympathize. She had never really cared for Morgana, anyway.

"Um… well, honestly, I always had a weird feeling about her. She was always watching me in a creepy way, like she knew something I didn't. And she was always _smirking _at me-"

"Yeah, Rene, that's fascinating, but how about you tell me some other time, all right? It looks like we will get to accomplish a few things off of our to-do list… remember? Use excessive amounts of magic and kill a few people…"

Rena backed up. "Aven, I didn't like the way you were smiling on that last part."


	9. Over My Head

**A/N: **_Depending on whether or not the inspiration stick hits me hard or not within the next few hours, there may not be an update next week. :( Anyway, disclaimer stuff... umm I've gotten bored of writing it. The song is Over My Head by The Fray. (Because, especially in ERHIT, Merlin was sooo in over his head with Aven. :D) Oh, and ya'll may or may not want to kill me by the end of this chapter. Or next, depending on a few things._

_Please, please, please review. It lets me know people are reading and caring about this story and it's not just the select few I hear from once in a blue moon. Plus I would honestly love to hear your feedback on the story, and I'm always open to suggestions. Except from Ruby. Who's probably reading this and will kill me later. Anyway, story time._

**9. Over My Head**

_Someday, _Aven thought, _I am going to tie up all of the loose ends in my life. When I die – and, let's face it, no one really knows when that will be – I don't want to leave any bit of my life unfinished. Someday, I will find a way to piece together all the missing bits of… everything._

Rena could almost hear her friend mentally sighing from across the tent.

"Is there something you want to talk about, Aven?" Rena asked, throwing a blanket into the large sack of clothing that she had brought with her. This time, Aven _did _sigh.

"I just… I have my doubts about this."

"Doubts about what?"

"Going after Morgana and Morgause." Rena raised her right eyebrow.

"Okay, I didn't quite see _that _coming. Why would you have doubts?" she asked, flipping her golden hair over her shoulder. "I thought you would jump at this chance."

"Well, they're not quite doubts, they are sort of just like… little, er, doubt-lets." Rena's left brow joined her right higher up on her forehead.

"All right, that's a new one. What's wrong, Aven? You look like you're about to be sick."

In her most solemn tone, Aven answered, "I feel like something bad is going to happen, Rena. Something really bad… and it will happen really soon."

"…Yeah. Listen, psychic-and/or-psycho-girl," Rena began, causing Aven to roll her eyes. "You are going to kill yourself if you keep basing your life on premonitions that may or may not even be _real_-"

"This is _not _a premonition!" Aven's voice had grown to a half-growl. Rena immediately became silent. Aven _really _needed to sleep more. "This is basic instinct, and I _always_ trust my instincts. Something _will _happen soon," Aven muttered. Rena knew better than to argue with her friend when she was so intent on proving something.

"Er, okay… I guess you should trust your instincts… I mean, if you feel so strongly about it…" Rena murmured awkwardly, trying to ignore the fact that Aven's glare, which was currently set on the ground, could have set fire to the tent. Decidedly ornery, Aven left the tent, feeling like she wanted to stab someone – _anyone _ at this point – and get it over with.

Standing just five meters away from the tent, Aven breathed in slowly through her nose, and then exhaled through her mouth. In the back of her mind, she wondered where Merlin was. She hadn't seen him all day…

* * *

That morning, Merlin was the first to wake up. He hadn't slept too well, mostly because he wasn't comfortable being in the Druid camp, but also because he was worried about Aven. He knew Rena was, too, and that it was just a matter of time before Aven lost her temper with someone.

Coming out of the tent he shared with Arthur (who had been snoring rather loudly), he saw a woman sitting a few paces away from the tent. Apparently hearing his footsteps, she turned around, and upon seeing him she smiled. It was Rowan, the woman who Aven seemed to have a bone to pick with.

"Oh, um, hello." Rowan's voice was sweet and soft; it was so different from how it had been when Merlin had first met her.

"Um…"

"I'm sorry, am I disturbing you?" she asked, tilting her head a little.

"No… no, not at all." Rowan's smile grew.

"I suppose you're wondering why I'm here, am I correct?" Merlin nodded, watching her warily. If he trusted Aven – and he did – then he supposed he _shouldn't _trust Rowan. Sensing this, Rowan chuckled lightly.

"Merlin, you do not have to worry about me. I promise I mean you no harm," she said, holding up her right hand. "Oh, and that promise goes for Aven, Rena, and the prince as well." Merlin relaxed a little. Rowan, he realized, wasn't what he had first thought. She was just sort of… broken. Maybe even a little bit like Aven?

_If they both knew how much they were alike, maybe they would get along better, _Merlin thought. _Of course, maybe they _do _know, and that's just the reason they seem to hate each other._

"That… that's good to know," Merlin said, grinning. Rowan grinned back.

"Oh, and speaking of Aven, is she up yet?" Rowan inquired.

"No, not yet." Rowan laughed.

"She always did love her sleep." Suddenly, Rowan's eyebrows furrowed, and she frowned. "That's too bad, though. I really wanted her to be here… although I suppose it can't wait any longer," she said, sighing.

"What can't wait?" Merlin asked.

"Well, I heard about how yesterday you went to see Ysmina about Aven's nightmares… terrible things, from what I've heard. Anyway, Ysmina is having one of her… moments… right now, so I was sent to deliver her message."

"What do you mean she's having one of her 'moments'?" Merlin asked.

"I mean she's… she's sort of in her own little world right now. Apparently she got some big premonition last night, and she's trying to figure out what it means. But when I came to see her this morning, she insisted that I come and tell you what she 'Saw' earlier in the evening. It was about you… and Aven."

"What was it? I mean… what happened?" Merlin hastily questioned. Rowan sighed sadly, and her shoulders sagged a little.

"Um... Merlin, has Aven ever mentioned that she thinks she is a danger to the people she loves?"

"…Maybe once or twice," Merlin murmured, not wanting to admit how many times Aven had _really _said something along those lines.

"Well, this time, Merlin, that's not so. This time… oh, God, I _hate _to say this… but right now, _you _are a danger to Aven." Rowan's words hit Merlin like an arrow to the chest.

"_What_?"

"Merlin, if Aven stays with you, she will get hurt. Badly. Actually, there will be a possible fatality. But if she is on her own… she won't get hurt." Seeing the upset look on Merlin's face, Rowan put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I know that this can't make much sense, Merlin, but you must understand that this has _nothing_ to do with you. It's simply Aven's location. Somehow, you must find a way to get her to get her a good distance away from you within the next few days. If you don't… I fear she may die."

Merlin didn't know what to make of Rowan's words. He'd always thought he'd get to be Aven's protector, and no one could harm her while he was within a reasonable distance… and now, just a few words from this Druid shattered his hopes.

"Then… she has to leave?" Merlin was still in shock as he asked this. Rowan nodded solemnly.

"I wish I didn't have to be the bearer of bad news, Merlin, I really do. But, yes, you must somehow get Aven as far away from you as possible." For a minute, both Rowan and Merlin were silent.

"But… h-how do I know she won't get hurt while she's away from me?" Merlin stammered.

"If she does get hurt, it won't be as bad as what might happen when she's with you," Rowan explained.

"This doesn't make any sense, Rowan. What is it about being with me that is going to put Aven in danger?" At this point, Merlin was reaching desperation. He'd do anything to keep Aven near him.

"Merlin, I've told you, it's not _you_ specifically that she needs to get away from. It's… It's hard to explain. But, in two days, she will die if she is in the same location as you. Ysmina's visions are strange, and sometimes don't make sense until it is too late. Please, for you and Aven both, do not make that mistake." It seemed like Rowan was almost _begging _him. Maybe she cared about Aven more than she let on.

"I… I don't know how I would make her leave," Merlin said, looking for some way to convince Rowan that Aven staying with him was best.

"Aven is a stubborn girl, Merlin, we both know that. But she is very vulnerable…" Rowan trailed off, not sure if she should finish her sentence. Merlin realized what it was that Rowan was hinting towards. He didn't say anything after that; he just looked at the ground. Rowan gave him a sympathetic look, and her mouth twitched sadly.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "Truly, I am." With that, Rowan walked away from the warlock so he would have a chance to gather his jumbled thoughts.

* * *

Almost ten minutes after Aven had lost her temper with Rena, she was still outside of her tent, trying to catch her breath. Suddenly, she heard footsteps coming from her right side. She turned quickly, and saw a smiling Damien coming towards her.

"Good morning, Aven," he greeted her. "I was wondering if I could perhaps have a word with you?"

"Um, sure, why not?" Aven shrugged.

"Oh, well, I meant… away. You know, alone," Damien said, looking down as though trying to suppress a blush. Aven raised both eyebrows.

"Exactly how far away are we talking about?" Aven asked, a slight note of suspicion in her voice.

Damien chuckled as a way of reassurance. "Not far, Aven. I just don't wish for anyone to… intrude on our conversation. Although if you are not comfortable with that, perhaps we could-"

"N-no, I'm all right," Aven interrupted, giving him a quick relaxed smile. "It's fine, I suppose… as long as we are back within a short amount of time."

Tactfully slipping Aven's hand into his, Damien smiled brightly. "I promise we will be." Aven stole one last look back at Merlin's tent, then focused on Damien. She nodded, and he led them off deeper into the forest.

Damien, obviously intent on keeping his promise, led Aven quickly through the forest, and they only spent about ten minutes on travel time. They reached a tiny clearing, which Damien must have deemed acceptable, and stopped there.

"So… what is it you wanted to talk to me about, Damien?" Aven asked. Damien sighed, and finally released Aven's hand from his grip.

"A lot has changed since you left, Aven. I realized a lot of things. And… I found that many of my thoughts led back to my time with you." At this, Aven's eyes widened considerably.

"Damien…"

"Listen, Aven, I know that when you were here for that one year you had Elrich to occupy your time, but surely you have moved on from that?" Damien asked hopefully.

"Yeah…" Aven said breathily. "Yeah, I definitely have." She was about to tell him just how much she had moved on from Elrich, but he spoke up again.

"Aven, _please _hear me out," Damien begged her. Aven's mouth turned down at the corners, but she supposed no harm could come from listening to what Damien had to say. "When you were here… it was like I woke up every morning knowing that, when I went to sleep again that night, everything was going to be okay. When I saw you every day… or whenever I could… it only enhanced that idea. I knew deep in my heart that not every day would be okay, but also that you would make it as close to okay as possible."

"I… uh, I…" Aven felt utterly unintelligent as she tried to stutter out a response to Damien's words. "Damien, I just… this isn't a good… oh, hell, I…"

"Have I upset you, Aven? I never meant to, I'm sorry," Damien quickly apologized.

"No, you've just… overwhelmed me a bit. Damien, I… I'm sorry, but… these feelings you have for me… I could never return them," Aven finally admitted.

Damien looked like he had just been punched in the stomach. He swallowed his sadness, and Aven felt terrible for having to break his heart like she did.

"Damien…" Aven wished she knew what to say. "I… I still care about you, just not the way that you care about me. And…. there is… Well, my heart belongs to another." Damien looked at Aven, his expression a mix of misery and surprise.

"Someone else?" he asked incredulously. He then chuckled bitterly. "I should have known. You were gone for two years; _of course_ there is someone else."

"Damien, I'm sorry…" Aven was desperate. Realizing that there was nothing she could say to fix Damien's broken heart, she turned around and left.

Aven was out of Damien's sight within seconds. As soon as he was sure she was gone, he turned around one hundred and eighty degrees, knowing exactly who he would see when he did so.

"I told you she would not accept your offer," Morgause said matter-of-factly. Damien shrugged.

"It was worth a try. At least now, she will feel guilty, and her emotions may make her even blinder," he said.

"Well, I for one have grown tired of plans half-gone-right. Something stronger has been set into motion, Damien, and you can be certain that this will not fail," Morgause assured him. Again, Damien shrugged.

"It means nothing to me whether your plans work or not… as long as I am paid."

"Oh, you can be certain you will be paid in full." The tone of Morgause's voice had changed drastically as she fluttered her eyelashes coquettishly. Damien smirked.

"I want _money_, Morgause."

"I am sure you do," Morgause crooned. "And you will get it. Just make sure that Aven stays alive, do you understand? She will be no use to me if she is not breathing."

Damien's expression could only be described as completely uncaring.

"No promises."


	10. Not Meant To Be

**A/N: **_My weekly update for you all. *Grins* Enjoy... well, actually, you probably won't enjoy it very much if you've enjoyed it up to this point. But, don't worry, this is only the tip of the iceberg..._

_You can review and tell me how much you hate me at the end, if you like. Kitty O has already told me in great detail. (There's roughly 5 'I hate you's in the beta document alone.) The title ought to give you an idea of why this is. (Not Meant to Be - Theory of a Deadman... great song.)_

**10. Not Meant To Be**

Merlin knew what he had to do. Rowan's instructions had been plain and simple, even if she hadn't actually said them. He had to do something he'd sworn to never, ever do…

He had to break Aven's heart.

Aven was a stubborn, strong-willed woman that acted on impulses more often than not, especially when she became overly-emotional. The idea was that Aven would be so furious and upset with him when he turned her away that she would leave him immediately.

Merlin wished he had time to come up with a better plan - perhaps something that _wouldn't _cost him his relationship - but from what Rowan had said, the sooner Aven left, the better it would be for all of them.

_She doesn't deserve this, _Merlin thought as he walked towards Aven's tent, his footsteps getting heavier with every single step. His heart felt like lead, and his head felt like it was about to explode.

He had waited for the most opportune moment he could think of; a moment when Rena was off doing God-knows-what and Arthur was bathing in a creek by the campsite. (It was around this time that Aven had pointed out that Arthur's spur-of-the-moment decision to come with the rest of them had resulted in him being with only one outfit.)

Merlin inhaled sharply, entering the tent. Aven looked up from the spell book she was thoroughly engrossed in, and smiled at him. _She just doesn't deserve this, _Merlin thought for the second time. Noticing the anxious look on Merlin's face, Aven's expression became concerned.

"What's wrong?" Aven immediately asked. Merlin's throat went dry. He'd planned out what he was going to say to her, but all of the words fled from his brain the minute he looked into her eyes. Her deep, captivating brown eyes that had made him fall so in love with her…

"I…" Merlin tried and failed to get two words out of his mouth. Aven's head cocked slightly.

"Merlin, what happened? Are you all right?"

_No, I am most certainly _not _all right, _Merlin thought. He swallowed his sadness.

"Aven… I've been thinking lately… and I realized that what we have right now… it's not going to work."

Aven blinked, not quite registering his words. "What are you saying?" she whispered, her voice wary. She sounded like she wasn't sure if she even wanted to get the answer to that question, which she probably didn't. Merlin realized that he was taking everything backwards with Aven. For months, he'd tried to help her open up more and become less guarded, and now she was just resorting back to her old ways. It was how she'd dealt with things before, but that obviously wasn't okay, and Merlin had only _just_ begun to make her realize that.

"That… our relationship right now… well, in the long run, there's just no chance it would work out in the end, you know?" At Merlin's words, Aven visibly drew back.

"No, Merlin, I do _not _know. And that certainly wasn't the song you were singing two days ago," Aven pointed out coldly.

"Well, I've had more time to think about it. And I realized that, no matter what we wish for, you're still a princess, and I'm still a servant." Aven's chest began to rise and fall more rapidly, and she was hoping and praying that this was dream and that she'd wake up any minute.

But this was no dream. It was a living nightmare.

"You… you said we would find a way to make this work, Merlin. You… you promised," Aven whispered. "And you know that all of that… ranks and titles and positions… they don't matter to me!"

"I know, but… they matter to other people. I just think this is best for the two of us if we… end this right now." The words were hardly past Merlin's lips before he heard a quiet whimper coming from Aven. She was making this so hard… Then he thought about what it must be like for _her_ to hear him say these things.

"So… the other night?" As she spoke, her voice was breaking. "The other night by the fire… everything you said was a lie?" _No, of course not, Aven. _This _is a lie._ Not that Merlin could _tell _her that, of course.

"…Yes. It was just easier to tell you what you wanted to hear." Merlin felt as though someone else was speaking the words. _Aven must be pretty upset, _he thought, _if she can't see past me right now. _Suddenly the princess jumped up.

"Merlin, before you say anything else, make _sure_ you know _exactly_ what it is you want to say to me," Aven warned.

Merlin decided he just didn't want to say anything else. He stood up, kissed Aven on the cheek quickly (before she could punch, stab, kick, or slap him), and left.

Rage, misery, and embarrassment burned inside of Aven. Her breathing became shallow, and her hands started to shake. _Not again_, she thought. Her voice nothing more than a whisper, she bowed her head towards the floor and murmured, "Not _again_."

* * *

Rena jogged up to the tent that she shared with Aven, a yellow rose in her hand. Apparently some of the Druid men had been quite taken with the princess, but she paid them no mind. She knew she had Xander waiting for her back in Camelot, after all.

"Aven, I-" Rena froze as she realized Aven wasn't in the tent. _She must be with Merlin, _Rena thought, adding a fond eye roll. As she approached Merlin's tent, she paused.

"Um, Merlin? Aven?" She wasn't quite sure what she would have walked in on if she didn't give them a bit of warning first.

"It's safe, Rena." Merlin's voice deadpanned from inside the tent. Stepping inside, Rena looked around quickly.

"Aven's not with you?" she questioned. Merlin shook his head dejectedly. Rena did a double-take as she looked at him closely. He seemed utterly heartbroken. "Merlin… what happened?" Rena asked, a look of concern coming over her face. "Aven… she's not hurt, is she?" Slowly, the princess's voice was becoming panicked.

"No… well, she's not… you know, _hurt_, exactly." Rena's eyebrows furrowed.

"What did you do?" In about half a second, Rena had gone from scared out of her mind to suspicious. Merlin looked offended at her question.

"What makes you think _I _did something? Maybe it was _her_ fault! Maybe… maybe I caught her with… with _Damien_, and…" Merlin had started off his argument yelling, and by the end his words had faded to saddened mutterings.

"So it was your fault, wasn't it?" Rena asked quietly. "What did you _do_, Merlin?"

"I… I told Aven that I couldn't be with her anymore." Rena gave him a bewildered look.

"Well, what the hell did you do _that _for? Have you gone and lost your mind?"

"No! There's a perfectly good reason for why I-"

"Broke Aven's heart? Oh, I'd _love_ to hear it," Rena spat out.

"What if I told you that breaking her heart was the only way to keep her alive?" Merlin asked softly.

"Um… well, I suppose that would change things… Merlin, what _happened_?" Merlin broke down and told Rena everything. He told her about what Rowan said and how he had seen Aven leaving the camp shortly after he'd broken her heart. When he was done, Rena just stared at him.

"What is _wrong _with you, Merlin?" She seemed to suddenly explode with emotion. "Oh my God, you took advice from _Rowan_?"

"What? Why shouldn't I listen to Rowan?" Merlin asked, completely confused. Rena glared at him and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Aven spent half of the first night we were here telling me about how Rowan has it in for her and is not to be trusted under any circumstances. I guess Aven forgot to mention it to you? Oh, I should have _known_ Rowan would try something like this! I knew there was something wrong with her the minute I met her, you know." Merlin knew Rena would rant forever like this unless he did something to stop her.

"Rena… Rena, how do I fix this?" Merlin asked desperately, bringing Rena back to reality. Rena sighed.

"Well… hopefully she hasn't gotten too far. She took all of her things, so she obviously has no intentions of coming back."

"She took everything? All of her weapons? Everything?"

"Well, yes, why wouldn't she? She's impulsive, Merlin, not stupid." Merlin could have sworn he heard Rena say something like "Unlike yourself" under her breath, and if she had, Merlin knew it probably wasn't all that unwarranted.

* * *

Aven swore out loud. It was like being sixteen all over again. Her relationship hadn't gone the way it should have and now she was alone in the Darkling Woods. The flashbacks she was having weren't particularly pleasant, either.

_I'm an idiot, _she realized as she sat down on the forest floor. _Why did I leave? I could have just ignored Merlin for the rest of the trip. Rena would have given him hell about it… and Arthur would be confused as usual. That would have been fine. Normal, even. Why am I such a coward sometimes? _Aven wondered. _I made a really bad decision. But I can't go back _now. _No, that would be absolutely mortifying. I'll wait it out. I can-_

"Well, well, look who's on her own." Aven whipped around, and her jaw clenched as she saw who was behind her.

"What do you want?" she spat. Morgana and Morgause gave identical smirks, and Aven rolled her eyes. "Today hasn't exactly been rainbows and sunshine, and I don't need this right now." As Aven began to walk away, she found herself frozen in place. She struggled to move, and realized that the spell Morgause had used was the same one she herself had used when she had told Rena of her secret identity. She knew of the counter spell…

But by the time she remembered it, Morgause was behind her holding a dagger to her neck and Morgana was standing directly in front of her.

Smirking.

"I hope you die a long, slow, and painful death," Aven growled through gritted teeth. _It is pretty hard to be menacing, _she thought,_ when you're in this position. I suppose I'd best quiet._

Morgause forced the dagger onto Aven's throat with a little more pressure, and Aven nearly gasped as she realized the liquid tricking down her chest onto her stomach was blood.

"Now, Aven, I think you'd better come with us." Morgana grinned as she said this, and Aven was immediately reminded of a snake. A dark snake with green eyes and a lethal bite.

_But the bite, _she realized, _is actually pressing into my jugular at the moment._

_Oh, hell._

"Somehow, I doubt going with you is going to do anything for me, Morgana," Aven muttered. Morgana tilted her head slightly.

"You're weak. I can tell. You haven't slept at all, have you?" Morgana sneered. "You've been so caught up in your nightmares." Aven gulped, which she soon found out was a bad idea. If Morgause so much as twitched at this point, Aven's head would be rolling on the ground. The princess winced at the mental image this thought gave her.

"It is not my fault we both have nightmares," Aven said quietly. "It is how we react to them that will determine who we are." Piercing green eyes glared into dark brown as Morgana tried to read deeper into Aven's thoughts. What was wrong with her? Morgana had met Aven only once, perhaps twice, back when she had been engaged to Arthur. And she had acted nothing like this.

"You want me to go with you?" Aven continued. "Fine. But I will not be held responsible for what happens after that." Aven realized the pressure on the knife by her neck had let up slightly. "What's wrong, Morgause?" the dark-haired girl taunted. If she was going down, she was going down fighting. Well, fighting as well as she possibly could from her current position.

As soon as the words had escaped Aven's lips, the pressure once again increased on the knife.

"Aren't you tired of playing games, _princess_?" Aven's vision was going blurry, and she couldn't even tell which sister had whispered the infuriating words into her ear. She let out a small groan, not even knowing she'd made a sound. From the very corner of her eye, she saw Morgana smirk.

"I… am tired," Aven said, her breathing becoming shallower every time she inhaled. And she truly was exhausted… Running and crying without stopping was a bad combination. "Do whatever you want." Morgana flashed her sister a quick look of surprise. Apparently Aven was done with threats. She was giving up, it seemed.

And just before she began seeing black spots in front of her eyes, Aven had reached the same conclusion.

And she didn't even care.


	11. My Disease

****

**A/N: **

_Good day, all! :) I'm sure you're waiting for the continuation of the last chapter, so here you go. Little tidbit of lyrics:_

_You are my disease, you'll keep on killing me  
__I never should have let you in my heart  
__I'm trying to believe you're not the enemy…  
__I'm better off without you.  
__-The Letter Black_

********

11. My Disease

Aven woke up in a dark room, lying flat on her back. She shifted a little, and realized the ground beneath her was cold, hard, and slightly wet. _Cave, no doubt_, she thought.

"Have a nice rest?" questioned a taunting voice from across the cave. Sitting up slightly with her weight resting on her forearms, Aven somewhat miserably faced Morgana LeFay.

"Please die," Aven hissed. She let her head fall, feeling extremely faint. "What did you give me?" she muttered, closing her eyes. The action alone was painful.

"Just a light sedative."

"Mmm…" Aven moaned quietly.

"You knew of my nightmares… and my visions." Morgana was wasting no time in questioning Aven, it seemed.

"Why talk to me after you've drugged me?" Aven asked wearily.

"Don't worry, Aven, the questions I'm going to ask you will be fairly simple. You _might_ be able to handle them," Morgana replied. Even though her eyes were shut, Aven couldn't resist opening them just so she could roll her brown orbs at Morgana. Once she did so, she closed them again.

"Insulting my intelligence isn't going to do anything for anyone, Morgana," Aven muttered. "But, in response to what you said… I did know of your visions, yes."

"And you had them as well. You knew of my troubles; you could have helped me! Yet you did nothing! Of course, you always thought only of yourself." Morgana spat.

"I did not help you because I knew it would be a waste of my time," Aven growled, her anger fueling the fire that had slowly been dwindling inside of her. "No matter what I did… no matter how I tried to guide you… you would have become… _this_… anyway. So full of hate and vengeance. As terrible as I feel for saying this… becoming my enemy was your destiny." Morgana scoffed at this.

"My _destiny_? You honestly believe that if you had helped me, I _still_ would want to kill you right now?" the raven-haired woman asked. Aven opened one eye, and saw Morgana now standing above her, dagger in hand. Closing her opened eye, Aven sighed and settled into the most comfortable position she possibly could.

"If you want to kill me, can you just do it, and perhaps quickly? Although if I had the strength, mind you, I would kill you myself," Aven reminded Morgana.

"So you do not care if you die, but you would rather _I _die? Is that right?" Morgana inquired. Aven opened both eyes and gave Morgana a glare that could have set her ablaze, and sighed.

"Well, better you die than I."

"Hmm. We'll see about that." With that, Morgana turned on her heel and walked away with a sort of grace only she could possibly manage. Aven couldn't be bothered to see where she went; she was too preoccupied with the nearly unbearable pounding in her skull.

_None of this would have happened if you hadn't been so dramatic about the whole Merlin thing, _a tiny voice reminded Aven. Aven huffed at the voice. _Here's how I see it, _the voice continued. _Rena's the drama queen, _you're_ the drama princess… and Morgana's the next runner-up. _At this, Aven had only one thought.

_What the _hell _did those witches give me?_

* * *

Rena sighed deeply as she slung her bag over her shoulder in an irritated way. _It's not Merlin's fault, _she reminded herself. _Not completely._ She tried not to think about the heartbroken look on Merlin's face when she told him about the night Aven explained that Rowan was pure evil.

Being brought up by parents that were very kind and loving (for the most part), Rena had it firmly planted in her mind that everyone _must_ have _some_ good in them. But after hearing Aven's tales of how Rowan had more often than not taken pleasure in ruining the lives of other Druids, the golden-haired princess had begun to rethink her assumptions.

Neither Rena nor Merlin had thought of something to tell Arthur. _What can we possibly say? _Rena wondered. _"Oh, Arthur, we have to go rescue Aven because Rowan's evil and Merlin just broke Aven's heart and knowing Aven she's already done something stupid and…_

No, she couldn't say that.

_I shouldn't be thinking so hard, _Rena sighed as she walked over to where Merlin and Arthur were standing by their three horses. _It's been giving me a killer headache._

"Remind me again what we're doing," Arthur muttered as he mounted his horse.

"What, have you gotten attached to the village?" Rena retorted. Arthur scoffed.

"Of course not. But why do we have to leave all of a sudden?" he asked.

"…Reasons. We have a specific place we need to go, and you have to trust me, okay?" Rena nearly pleaded. _Again with the trust bit, _she thought. _Ah, God, my head hurts._

Rena blinked rapidly. She began to see black spots in front of her eyes. "Um… Arthur…" she murmured, her call to her cousin a last resort for help. Looking closely at her, Arthur could tell something was wrong.

"Rena? Rena!" The princess's deep blue eyes rolled back and she hit the ground, unconscious even before she did so.

Merlin tried not to panic as he looked desperately at Arthur, who seemed to be doing the same.

"Don't just stand there, Merlin, help her!" Arthur yelled as he jumped off of his horse. Merlin scrambled over to Rena and knelt by her side.

"Rena!" Merlin knew it was useless; Rena wasn't going to hear him or respond. Arthur just stared at her, completely unaware of the malicious planning that had gone into the attack on his cousin.

_

* * *

_

I could go mad here,

Aven thought. _I could already _be _mad and not even know it. Do insane people know they're insane? I don't think they do. Well, I'm certainly on my way. _Morgana and Morgause's potion had worn off long ago, and Aven had been sitting completely motionless on the cave floor, her back against the wall, listening silently to the steady drips of water that were falling from the ceiling.

_That might be what drives me to insanity, _Aven mused. _The constant drip… drip… drip…_ The dark-haired girl had just begun to count the drips when she heard footsteps quickly approaching from her left side. She found that she didn't care enough to get up or even face the person.

"You're awake." Aven heard Morgause's cold voice, and her muscles tensed.

"Yeah, and I had this horrible dream. Some crazy witch trapped me in a dark cave and drugged me… it was pretty gruesome. You should have seen that witch, too." At the snarky comment, Morgause glared at Aven. Holding a knife firmly in her hand, she hastily slashed Aven's right cheek. Aven gasped at the sudden sting of the knife, caught completely off-guard.

"I bet you just live for this sort of thing, don't you?" Aven said through gritted teeth. "Torture… you get some enjoyment out of that, huh? You like misery? Well, I've had enough of it. Now if you would kindly leave me to rot, I would most appreciate it."

"What would your blonde friend say if she heard you talking like that… _Aella_?" Hearing her Druid name, Aven nearly shuddered.

"First of all, Morgause, do not call me that, _ever_. Secondly, I am sure Rena's already mad at me for running off like I did, so I'm sure it wouldn't make much of a difference." Morgause nodded.

"Perhaps you're right. Although I don't see how she could be mad at you… not in her current situation." At this, Aven's eyes flashed dangerously.

"What did you do, Morgause?" Aven growled in what she hoped was a threatening voice. (She was still extremely dizzy.)

"Not much… I could not kill her, although she is simply… out of commission." Gathering all of her strength, Aven jumped up.

"Listen," she said, speaking slowly and in a low, angry voice. "If I find out you hurt her…" Aven couldn't finish her sentence. She was already leaning desperately on the cave wall, and her powers of speech had apparently left her.

"Yes, I would _love_ to see what you would do," Morgause taunted Aven. "You should give up, you know. Without Rena, you don't have much to live for, do you?"

"That's not true," Aven spit back, feeling far more vulnerable than she would ever consider herself being comfortable with. Morgause smirked.

"Oh, really? Because you don't have Merlin anymore, as I recall." Aven rolled her eyes.

"He wasn't my whole life, you know." Suddenly, something registered in her brain. "Wait a minute… how did you know about that?" Morgause just let the smirk stay on her face.

"It surprised me, you know," the blonde began, ignoring Aven's question. "I was shocked at how easily you accepted Merlin's lie when he had just told you how much he loved you. You simple girl… did you honestly believe that he would love you one night and the next suddenly not want anything to do with you? Oh, well, it's such a shame he won't get to tell you that himself." Aven closed her eyes tightly and pursed her lips.

"I… cannot wait… to kill you," she whispered, her breathing erratic. _If you ever get your strength back, _added the annoying little voice in the back of her mind. _And that doesn't seem like a possibility in the near future._

"We'll see about that." Morgause turned on her heel and stalked out of the room, leaving Aven alone once again. The dark-haired girl raised a hand to her cheek, and sighed.

_Just another scar to cover up._

* * *

Merlin was torn.

He wanted to find Aven, and explain that he hadn't meant what he'd said, and that he knew Rowan was a manipulative, psychotic woman… But Rena had spent the last two hours slipping in and out of consciousness, and he couldn't leave his friend. Then there was Arthur, who of course would not even _think _of leaving Rena's side. She meant everything to him, and if something unthinkable happened to her… the prince would never be able to recover fully from it.

Finally, he came to a decision. Arthur _had _to be capable of taking care of Rena. Merlin was going to find Aven on his own, and if she was in any danger, save her from it.

_Or…_ a disturbing thought crossed his mind. _What if, while she was leaving, Damien got to her? What if he… _Merlin couldn't even finish the rest of that thought.

"Arthur." The prince jerked his head around at the sound of Merlin's voice. The warlock stood behind his master, whilst Arthur was kneeling by Rena's side. He had placed her on her cot in the tent that she and Aven had shared, and kept meticulously looking over at Aven's bed, hoping the small dark girl would be there with an answer to his cousin's ailment.

"I… I have to find Aven," Merlin said, figuring he should just get right to the point with Arthur. "You need to stay here with Rena."

Arthur had never been one to show his emotions. And even after everything he'd been through with his manservant, he couldn't bring himself to show how worried he was about Rena. He had no idea what had affected her, and he wasn't even sure if she'd make it through the night.

So, instead of properly answering Merlin (he was worried his voice might break, or something equally embarrassing), he just shrugged indifferently. Merlin took this as his cue to leave, so he quickly got on Smoke and left. He hoped that the connection he had with Aven would be enough to help him find her. He still remembered the day Aven had established their connection…

* * *

_It was the day that Aven was leaving for Kierian. She could hardly believe what an adventure she'd had within the last two months. And now, she was leaving the person that had brought her to all of that adventure… Merlin._

_She didn't want to be without him. And even if she couldn't see him, she knew there _must_ be some way they could still have some sort of contact with each other…_

Of course. _Back in the Druid camp, Elrich had taught her a spell that would give any two beings of magic a mutual connection with each other. (In hindsight, she thought, she probably should have realized Elrich was up to no good when he insisted that they establish one.)_

_She had run to Merlin only moments before she, her mother, and her father were set to leave. Establishing the connection was fairly simple; a short whispering of spells by the two of them and they were connected. The connection wasn't so strong that it would allow them to communicate telepathically, but it did have certain advantages. If one got hurt, the other knew. If one was missing, the other could find them._

Aven had hoped the connection would prove useful. And now Merlin was sure of it.


	12. Leave Out All The Rest

**12. Leave Out All the Rest**

**A/N**: _So, we've got the only non-evil magic girls here both with the potential to die… oh, what fun. *Cackles evilly* Please review, it's much appreciated! Leave Out All The Rest –Linkin Park… mmm, epic band. :) Story now…_

* * *

Aven didn't struggle. She didn't try to escape from the cave or attack the witches that held her captive. For a while, it seemed as though she had completely stopped caring about the outside world.

But, no, that wasn't true. She was extremely worried about Rena. In fact, she spent most of her time thinking about Rena. She wondered what Morgana and Morgause could have done to her friend, and she questioned whether or not it could have been stopped had she not left the camp in a fit of anger and betrayal.

_Well, too late now, _Aven thought as she listened to the incessant _drip-drip _noises that seemed to echo around every wall of the cave.

All of the potions Morgana and Morgause had given her were no longer effective. She just lay on the cave floor because she decided there was nothing she could do to stop what was already in motion.

_And maybe it was meant to be this way. Destiny, and all that. I always knew I was never meant to be a part of this future, and perhaps I've just been here far too long._

Before she knew it, the annoying voice in the back of her mind had returned to haunt Aven.

_Yeah, Merlin certainly seemed to think so._ Aven was shocked that, somewhere in her own brain, she was thinking thoughts like that.

_Shut up, why don't you? The witches have finally left me alone, and I'd like to die in peace, _Aven told the voice.

_Well, Rena's not going to die in peace. You know that Morgana and Morgause must have given her something to cause a slow and painful death, _the ever-obnoxious voice pointed out.

_Or maybe they've already killed her._

_You know they haven't. You know she's still alive, and that you need to rescue her._

_That's not my job anymore. And I really need to stop talking to myself, even if it's inside my head. Besides, can't Arthur or Merlin rescue her?_ Aven felt a pang just at thinking Merlin's name, but she couldn't stop herself from thinking about him. And the thoughts sent her mind reeling and made her feel sick.

_No, they can't, Aven, and you know that perfectly well. Listen, you've seen that pouch Morgause keeps attached to her waist, haven't you?_

_ Of course._

_ Something important must be in that pouch, right? Why else would Morgause make it so it was never out of her sight? _The voice kept pressing on and on. _Maybe the antidote for whatever they gave Rena is in there._

_ Yeah, and maybe it's not, _Aven thought angrily. The voice was silent for a minute, but Aven knew it wasn't done bothering her.

_Fine. Don't save your best friend, then._

Just like that, the voice disappeared. And surprisingly enough, Aven found herself missing it. She really did hate being alone. She'd been alone from the time she was seventeen until she was nineteen, and… well, that was just _too_ long. Right then, Aven made a decision.

_I will not go back to being alone. So what if Merlin doesn't want me? I did just fine without him for nearly two decades. And if I can save Rena, I'll have her by my side. Plus Xander, whose job is practically to love me no matter what. _

_…I suppose Arthur will be there, too._

_ And when I was seventeen… well, let's face it, I was a pitiful mess. I will _not_ go back to the way I was before. Not again. Not again…_

"Never again," Aven whispered into the darkness.

* * *

Rena's condition hadn't gotten any better, nor had it gotten worse. But her pulse had slowed, and she was murmuring insane things while Arthur watched over her.

The prince tried to block her words out, and, for the most part, succeeded. He held her hand the whole time, and kept two fingers on her wrist, making sure that her pulse didn't stop completely.

About four hours after Merlin left, Rena's eyes had opened, but they were bright and her pupils were dilated in a way Arthur had never seen before.

_She's hallucinating, _Arthur realized. Rena gasped, and her head jerked to the side so that she was staring Arthur in the eyes.

"They… they're going to get hurt," she murmured, her voice raspy. "Please, Arthur, they're going to get hurt!" Rena begged. "Arthur, _please_!"

* * *

Aven was woken up by a sharp kick to her ribs. She gasped in shock, and tried to get up. She found that her wrists and ankles had been bound to the floor. She considering trying to get out, but decided that it would be a waste of precious energy and would probably be useless in the long run.

Looking up at Morgause, who was glaring down at her, Aven sighed, which she soon found to be quite painful.

"What?" she croaked. "What is it now?"

"Have you given any more thought to my offer?" the blonde questioned. Aven snorted, but didn't answer.

"…So. Your idea of an 'offer' is this: either I join you, or I die? Interesting prospect," Aven muttered. "Although you must understand, I'm not exactly up to choosing _anything _at the moment. In my current state-"Aven gestured with her head towards her chained-up extremities, "I probably won't be able to make a rational decision."

"Then you shall watch your friend die," Morgause sneered. "After this, you must make your decision… or you will die as well. You could be of great use to us… _Aella._" Aven released a growl from deep in her throat.

"Do not _ever _call me that!" she hissed, closing her eyes. "You know, you might as well kill me now. I'm never going to join you."

"Maybe you'll change your mind after you see your friend." With that, Morgause was gone, and Aven was in too much pain to think about what she meant.

_I miss Merlin_, Aven thought before she could stop herself. _I really do_. Biting her lip until it bled, Aven tried to make her mind go blank. She kept her eyes shut as tightly as possible, and for how long she did this she wasn't sure. All she knew was, when she opened her eyes, a pair of blue ones were looking back at her.

"Merlin?" Aven asked in disbelief. "What… what the hell?"

"We don't have a lot of time," Merlin breathed, trying to undo the shackles around her wrists.

"How did you get here without-" Aven's breath caught in her throat and her sentence died as she saw a shocked Morgana standing not five paces away from them.

"_Damn_," Aven whispered. "I was _that _close."

"Sister!" Morgana called, her voice angry. Her eyes, however, betrayed her. Aven could see the fear behind them, and knew she had a very small window of opportunity to do something. Merlin, who had been completely focused on freeing Aven from her binding, had just finished his job. Aven got up as quickly as she possibly could, although it was still rather slow, and did her best to mutter a spell.

"_Lladd_," the witch choked out, and a spiraling red beam of light shot from her hand and into Morgana. Though the spell had been meant to kill, Aven knew that, with her current strength, she couldn't have possibly done any permanent damage, but she had at least delayed any advances from Morgana.

Aven swayed a little bit, worried for a moment that she might pass out, but suddenly felt a surge of magic go through her. She glanced at Merlin, and he did his best to smile at her. _He's giving me strength, _she realized. It was nice, but Aven was in no mood for _nice_. She wanted to _kill_.

_And kill I shall, _she thought, taking an uneasy step. Merlin made a move to help her, but one sideways glare and he knew that Aven just wanted to be on her own, no matter how badly she was struggling. Aven took a deep breath, and felt a little bit better as she looked up at Morgause, who had the same amount of shock on her face at the current situation as Morgana had shown.

Aven saw her chance. Not bothering to waste any energy, she lunged at Morgause. Pinning the blonde witch to the ground, she panicked, realizing she had no weapon. Morgause had confiscated her precious dagger upon entering the cave. _Maybe I should have used magic after all, _Aven thought, doing her best to grab the pouch Morgause had firmly tied to her waist.

Morgause was caught so off guard by Aven's movements, it seemed she could only retaliate in the same way. She grabbed Aven's shoulder and flipped them, so that she now had the upper hand. Morgause then held Aven's neck firmly to the ground with her other hand, and Aven struggled to breathe.

Merlin found himself very intrigued.

Finally, it seemed Aven came to her senses and realized magic was probably a better solution to her problem. With a quick twist of her arm, she threw Morgause off of her and stood up, leaning against the cave wall more than she would have liked. She inhaled quickly, and muttered a spell as she felt more magical energy coming from Merlin.

"_Tân a daear_!" Aven quickly incanted, saying the first destructive spell that came to her mind. She held her hands out to the sides and let her head fall, hoping she'd had the brain power to say the spell correctly and the energy (albeit taken from Merlin) to give it the full effect.

Sure enough, within moments, the cave began to feel very warm, and the walls started shaking. Morgause and a recovering Morgana glared at Aven, who let out a sigh of relief that her spell had worked the way it was supposed to. Then she realized that, if she didn't get out of her quickly, the whole cave was going to come down with both Merlin and herself inside it.

"This is not over." With her arms clutched around her sister, Morgause gave one last threat and Morgana gave one last smirk to Aven before they were gone in a gust of wind.

Aven groaned, not sure if she could move properly. Merlin, who'd been focused on giving his magical energy to Aven, stopped what he was doing the minute he realized what spell Aven had set upon all of them. Grabbing the weakening woman's arm and wrapping his other arm around her waist, he half dragged her out of the cave, which had begun to crumble around them.

The two had to dodge rubble falling from the cave ceiling and flames from the fire Aven had ignited.

"Not one of your best spells, Aven," Merlin muttered as he coughed from the smoke. Aven barely had the strength to glare at him.

"Not… my fault," she wheezed. Her legs trembled, and they gave way as Merlin struggled to support her deadweight. Finally, Merlin gave up and slid one arm underneath her knees, placing the other around her upper back. Aven's head hung limply, and blood pounded in Merlin's ears as he realized the situation was truly getting desperate.

Pretty soon, Merlin could see the entrance, and gathered his remaining strength to get himself and Aven out of the cave as quickly as possible. Gasping and coughing, the warlock managed to get away from the cave-turned-death-trap with Aven still breathing… only just barely.

Sighing, Merlin forgot for a moment that Aven was still in his arms, and let his body relax a little bit, which turned out to be a bad idea. Aven hit the ground rather hard, and she moaned quietly as Merlin scrambled to pick her back up. He soon found he couldn't, and decided that they were a good enough distance away from the cave anyway. He lay down in the grass next to her, placing two fingers on her wrist to make sure there was a pulse. There was one, and it was good and steady. But after everything, Merlin didn't want to take a chance and let go of her.

Taking in as much fresh air as he could, Merlin glanced over at Aven's cut and bruised face. Had he not been so exhausted, he would have been even more furious with Morgause and Morgana for hurting Aven. But he couldn't even be properly angry. He just wanted to rest… and sleep of the events of the last few days…

Even though he knew that wasn't possible.

Before he succumbed to sleep, he heard a hoarse voice ask from next to him, "Was it my imagination, or did some idiot _really _drop me on my head?"

Merlin fell asleep smiling.


	13. King of Anything

**A/N:** _Hello, my wonderful readers! Just a heads up – due to the fact that I will not have access to my story (or my beloved laptop *sobs*) for a week, the next update will be en dos semanas. (Two weeks, for you non-Spanish-speakers. Well, I'm actually just barely passing Spanish, but I know… certain things!)  
__In other news, I'm working on two secret projects at the moment. You'll know when they arrive… :)  
__Oh, and for anyone who's heard the Sara Bareilles song "King of Anything"… well, I heard it this summer, and it made me think of Arthur the second it played through my headphones. I've loved it ever since. :D  
__Also, followers of Critic's Choice, the next update will be in two weeks, as well. Thanks for reading!_

* * *

**13. King of Anything Part 1**

_Inhale._

_Exhale._

_Blink._

_Repeat._

Aven's brain couldn't process anything more than those few commands. Her eyes were open, yes, but she wasn't exactly up to any heavy thinking.

Merlin lay next to her, passed out from exhaustion (similar to how she'd been only moments ago), and she watched his chest rise and fall with minor interest. Something in the back of her mind told her that she shouldn't care if he was breathing okay or not, but something else told her that that should be her main priority.

Aven wanted to move Merlin's fingers off of her wrist, but couldn't bring herself to. Not only because she sort of liked the fact that it meant he cared about her (even when unconscious, apparently), but because she didn't have enough energy to move her arm. The most she could do was pathetically wiggle her fingers. The grass was soft and fresh underneath them. It wasn't like the cold, wet cave floor. And the air was fresh, too; it wasn't like the damp, thick cave air.

_I look and feel disgusting, _Aven realized. _I don't even want to think about what sort of things were on that cave floor that crawled on me._

Aven found herself in deep thought about those things only a moment later. This gave her a massive headache due to the fact she shouldn't have been doing heavy thinking, anyway.

She was brought back to her current situation when Merlin stirred next to her. She watched him slowly wake up and look at her.

"You're okay," he whispered.

"Okay is a stretch, but I'm pretty sure I'll live." It came out a little more snarky than Aven had originally intended.

"I…" Merlin gulped. "Aven, I don't… know where… to start."

"Just don't talk," Aven muttered. "You can't even say a full sentence right now. Take a little while to recover, but not too long. We don't have much time before we have to get back to the Druid camp."

"Why do we-" Merlin stopped and watched as Aven reached inside her boot – the one that used to hold her dagger when she didn't have a proper belt on – and pulled out a small brown sack.

"My fight with Morgause was for more than just your viewing pleasure, Merlin," Aven mumbled. "I have a feeling this will help Rena."

"How do you… know?" Merlin wheezed. He thought he saw Aven's lip twitch upward, but it was gone almost as soon as it had appeared.

"I see you didn't care to listen to my 'don't talk' order. Well, you know what; you can call my knowledge a hunch."

After that, there was silence. The witch and warlock lay next to each other, breathing slowly but steadily.

"You can take your fingers off of my wrist, you know," Aven sighed a few moments later. When Merlin's fingers remained in their current place, Aven shot him a pointed look. "Merlin?"

With what had to be a lot of effort, Merlin shook his head. "No."

Aven groaned in frustration. "Damn. Just my luck to end up with someone who's as stubborn as me."

Merlin grinned as he remembered the time Aven had said that to him in the forest - back when she was still Avianna.

"Still not enough oxygen getting to your brain, Aven?" he asked. Aven snorted.

"You wish." With that, Aven shut her eyes and refused to look at Merlin, who decided that that must mean their conversation was over. Nevertheless, a moment later, Aven spoke up again.

"Why did you come for me?" she finally asked, not able to let the question from burning in her mind any longer.

"I… I really didn't have a choice."

Aven scoffed. "I hate when people say that. You _always_ have a choice."

"Well… to save you was the one I made."

This only got a groan from Aven.

"All right, Merlin, let's get one thing straight. I am _not_ a damsel in distress, and I did _not _need you to come save me."

Merlin bristled. "Oh, yes, you were clearly doing a fine job yourself."

"Well, maybe I had a plan! You weren't there!"

"Oh, come on, Aven! You had no plan! You were going to let yourself die there and you weren't going to do a damn thing about it!" Merlin hadn't meant to be so harsh, but he was simply angry with Aven for overreacting.

"…Swearing is more my thing, you know. It just doesn't suit you," Aven sighed. Merlin did the same.

"Of course _that's _what you get out of that entire conversation," he grumbled, but in a way he was glad to hear those words. They meant that Morgana and Morgause hadn't hurt her too terribly. Now, he had to do what seemed like salvaging whatever he could from the wreckage caused by three awful witches, Rowan being at the top of that list.

Merlin gritted his teeth angrily at the thought of Rowan. He had no doubt in his mind that she was in cahoots with Morgana and Morgause. It would have explained why the two sisters had captured Aven so quickly easily after she'd left. Even though there was a chance this wasn't true, and it had just been good timing and a coincidence…

Then Merlin remembered what Aven had told him back in Camelot, just before they had left.

_"There are certain things every person should know before going on a quest like this, Merlin," she smiled. "Five pieces of advice you should always remember. Sleep when you can, because you never know when you'll get another chance to. The same goes for eating. If a horse appears suddenly when you need a getaway, you shouldn't trust it. Fire and fire only make a bigger flame. Oh, and there's no such thing as a coincidence."_

So, following Aven's somewhat twisted advice, Merlin came to the conclusion that the events of the past few days leading up to that very moment had in no way been a coincidence.

"Aven… we need to get out of here," Merlin breathed.

"So I noticed. I… I cannot move at the moment, though. We have to rest a little longer." Merlin really didn't mind this, and he watched as Aven's eyes closed and her breathing slowed a little. He knew that, at some point, he would have to explain everything to her. But that, of course, could wait.

And Aven, for the moment, was just happy for a few certain things, such as being alive, and not having any major injuries. At least, not as far as she could tell. She felt a slight burning in her arm, where Morgause must have slashed her with something sharp at some point during their fight… Aven wasn't quite sure.

Oh, and there was also the fact that Merlin was laying on her left side. Aven was grateful for that, as well. Because, if he hadn't been, he would have seen the small tear that slipped from her right eye.

* * *

Arthur couldn't stop those terrible, negative thoughts from flooding his mind.

_What if Rena died?_

_What would he do without her?_

_How could he rule an entire kingdom if he couldn't even save his cousin?_

He loved Rena so much, and he didn't think he told her enough. If she made it through this, he swore that he would start doing that more.

All he could think about for a long time, though, was the awful sight he'd seen a few hours after Rena had apparently hallucinated and told him that Merlin and Aven were going to get hurt… Well, he at least _hoped_ she'd been hallucinating.

A few hours after that ordeal, Rena had opened her eyes again. Only this time, they hadn't been glazed over and her pupils hadn't been dilated. In fact, it had looked as though she had no pupils at all. Her eyes, every single centimeter of them, had been crimson.

It had looked as though there was a layer of thick, dark blood covering her eyes, but Arthur knew that that couldn't be true. Whatever it was, it had scared him to pieces… not that he could ever admit that.

Inadequacy was a fairly unfamiliar feeling for Arthur. He was the Crown Prince of Camelot, commander of the greatest knights in all the realm…

And still, he could not help his ailing cousin.

Rena was getting worse. He _needed_ Merlin and Aven to get back soon. Or else… the consequences for all of them would be unbearable.

* * *

Soon, Merlin and Aven found themselves able to walk. They were both fast healers, and Aven hoped Rena was the same way. She was just glad that she hadn't had to find that bit of information out yet.

Now, she and Merlin were on Smoke, riding back to the Druid camp as though the stallion's horseshoes were on fire. It took them mere hours to reach familiar territory, and by this time the sun had just begun to set.

It looked as though the trees were on fire. The sun had hit the leaves just so, and if Aven hadn't been in a life-or-death situation, she would have been completely breathless at the sight. But at the moment, she had only two things on her mind. The first was to get back to Rena as quickly as possible, and the second was to not lean back too much. She and Merlin were both on Smoke, but Merlin was sitting behind her holding the horse's reins. And the very last thing she wanted to do was lean back into Merlin. Her many years as a princess and having to hold perfect posture seemed to finally be paying off.

But she was tired, so tired. Just for a moment, she wished everything was all right between her and Merlin, and that she could lean back and rest... just for a while. But with the camp in sight, Aven clutched the brown bag in her hand. She had a job to do. Merlin hadn't even had a chance to tell her what was wrong with Rena, but Aven knew it was something magical and possibly deadly. She just hoped she hadn't taken too long with her rescue.

As soon as Merlin pulled Smoke to a halt, Aven jumped off rather ungracefully, nearly landing hard on her backside, but managed to recover and took off towards Rena's tent as quickly as she could. Merlin softly told Smoke he had done a good job, and ran after Aven, whose running speed had been slowed by her injuries. Merlin made a mental note to check on her after they made sure Rena wasn't dead.

As Merlin and Aven quickly found out, Rena was still alive. But Arthur looked ready to die himself. Completely disregarding the prince, Aven rushed to Rena's bedside. Arthur seemed to hardly be able to lift his head at the return of his manservant and the dark-haired princess.

"Don't be so dramatic, Arthur, you are not the one on your deathbed, are you?" Aven muttered (mostly to herself) as she fumbled with the drawstrings of the small sack, which she _knew_ held the key to saving Rena.

She pinched a little bit of the contents of the bag between her forefinger and thumb. She let a little bit of the bluish-green powder fall to the floor, before she grabbed a flask of water from Rena's bag and dumped as much of the powder into it as possible.

"Aven, are you sure you know what you're doing?" Arthur asked cautiously.

"Hardly," Aven sighed as she opened Rena's mouth, pinched the blonde girl's nose, and tilted her head back to pour her magical mixture into her mouth. Merlin and Arthur held their breath as Aven gave Rena a pleading look.

"Come on, swallow, Rene," Aven whispered. "You _have _to be okay." Aven felt a sense of panic as her own eyelids began to flutter shut. She looked down at her arm, which had a nasty-looking cut on it. She'd been fighting an infection this whole time, and she felt herself getting warm with fever. Aven blinked rapidly, trying to keep herself awake. The sedative Morgause and Morgana had given her was more potent than she had first thought. She found herself wanting to be asleep all the time… and the rest she had Merlin had taken just wasn't enough.

But she couldn't rest – at least not now. Anger and adrenaline surged through her. She couldn't lose Rena, no, not her best friend… it just couldn't happen.

Rena wasn't waking. Aven sighed miserably. It was over. She was giving up. She closed her eyes in defeat.

And Rena's opened.


	14. Just A Dream

**A/N: **_*Dodges the grapefruits that are being thrown* I AM SO SO SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING. I actually have a lot of excuses... one for every week I didn't update... and although I am entering finals time at school, I only have 20 days left of going, so you're gonna get this story a lot more often, I promise. You guys are great if you've been reading any of my other stuff while I was away, and thank you all for sticking with me until now. Just A Dream - Carrie Underwood._

**14. Just A Dream**

Arthur thought his heart had stopped, but whether it was out of fear or just pure relief he wasn't sure. Nothing was making sense anymore. Why were his cousin, her best friend, and Merlin so intent on leaving him out of the loop? Still, Arthur didn't want to over-think it, so he just went to Rena's side as quickly as he could. He figured Merlin would deal with Aven, who was apparently hyperventilating now.

"Oh my God…" Rena moaned. "My _head_… oh… what happened? Why do I feel so… _ugh_?"

"You don't remember anything?" Arthur asked, not quite sure if he believed that. _Surely_ she must have _some _recollection of her insane mutterings… hallucinations, that was what she had suffered from.

"N-no." Rena's quiet voice and scared eyes told Arthur she was being honest. "I just remember a lot of bad dreams…" Rena trailed off as she spotted Aven panting wildly. "Oh my God! What happened to _her_?"

Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose. "Rena, I have absolutely no idea."

Rena pursed her lips. She looked at Merlin, who was trying to comfort Aven, but the woman kept pushing him away. Rena's eyes fell to the gash on Aven's arm. She gaped at the wound for a moment before turning back to Arthur.

"You're going to need to explain... this to me," she murmured softly. Arthur glanced at Merlin and Aven. But he couldn't answer Rena, because even though she'd been unconscious this whole time, he _still_ knew even less than she did.

* * *

Morgana studied her reflection in the mirror.

She was beautiful and strong.

Powerful and proud.

And with her magic, she had everything she needed to bring down Camelot and take her rightful place on the throne.

There was still one thing in her way, however. Aven.

Aven Vyman was like an annoying tick that was going to drain the life out of all her plans unless Morgana managed to squash her. And Morgana Le Fay would squash Aven in such a way that there would be no resemblance whatsoever of the once fine princess of Kierian.

And she'd already accomplished that... well, nearly.

Aven wasn't strong. She never was, and now she never would be. Aven put on a front, and Morgana could see right through her. After all, Morgana was good enough at playing pretend.

Aven Vyman's little masquerade was about to end.

* * *

Aven and Rena sat by a fire, blankets wrapped around both their shoulders. Rena looked intently at Aven, who seemed very interested in the patch of grass near her feet.

"Are you going to say something or are you just going to keep staring at me?" Aven asked, not looking up from her grass. Rena shrugged.

"I haven't decided yet."

"Are you angry with me?" Aven asked, her voice soft and quiet. Rena chewed on her lip.

"Yes…"

Aven looked at her with sad brown eyes, and Rena sighed.

"Ugh… _no_…"

"You should be," Aven half-whispered. "You should be furious with me."

Rena moved closer to Aven. "Well, for some ungodly reason, I'm not. I mean… I can't image what it would be like if I had been in your shoes…"

"And Merlin had been Xander?" Aven finished, finally looking up. She smiled, and it was the smallest, weakest smile Rena had ever seen, but it was a smile nevertheless.

"Yes. If Merlin had been Xander." Rena rested her chin in the palm of her hand. "Aven, I just… I am not all that mad at you. I just wish you'd think things through, you know?"

Aven exhaled sharply. "Rena, if everyone in the world thought things through, we would live in a very dull place."

"Yes, and certain people would not be dead."

"…Point taken." The conversation ran dry after that, but Rena was determined to pick it back up.

"So…"

"So…"

"Did… did Merlin say anything to you after… you know?" Rena asked. Aven shook her head.

"No. Rena, and that's the least of our troubles. However, I know something I think you're going to be interested in."

Rena perked up. "What is it?"

"I know what Morgana and Morgause are up to. I… I think we can stop them."

"But what do we do about Arthur?" Rena asked.

"Well, if we could keep an open mind about sleeping potions-"

"That is _not _an option, Aven."

The darker girl sighed. "Fine. Fine, then, we'll just have to… keep lying and hope his head is thicker than I originally thought. And I thought he was pretty thick."

"He _is_," Rena muttered under her breath. She put her head in her hands. "Just tell me their plan."

Aven nodded. "All right, well… have you ever heard – in legends of the Old Religion – about something called the Cup of Life?"

Rena blinked, trying to remember where she'd heard that term before.

"Y-yes, I believe so… only priests and priestesses of the Old Religion can use it… or something like that."

"Well, it's as the name implies." Bringing up her hands, Aven's eyes flashed a brilliant gold as she manipulated the fire in front of her. She used the flames to show Rena what the Cup of Life looked like. She'd seen it before; once when the Druids had been in possession of it. It was a thing of beauty, and Rena's eyes widened in wonder at the goblet.

"Morgana and Morgause talked about it… they talked in hushed tones so I could hardly understand what they were saying," Aven continued. "Well, that, and I was unconscious a good part of my stay."

"Of course you were," Rena sighed quietly. She wasn't sure if Aven had heard her or not, and if she did, she chose not to say anything.

"They want to-"

"Kill us?" Rena guessed.

"Your powers of deduction are marvelous, darling," Aven said, releasing the fire with another golden flash of her eyes.

"Well… what are we going to do to stop them?" Rena asked expectantly. Aven raised her eyebrow.

"I don't know Rena; I haven't exactly had a lot of time to think of anything. Unless you have any brilliant ideas…?"

Rena shook her head. "No, Aven, I don't know what to do."

Aven stood up. "We should get some sleep. Or, you should anyway. I've done enough of that."

"Well, so have I!" Rena said defensively. "But… things always do look better in the morning, I suppose. Besides my hair. That definitely gets better by late afternoon."

Aven could barely roll her eyes, knowing that Rena was completely serious when it came to her blonde locks.

"Sleep. Now. Go." She gave Rena's shoulder a light push, who smiled.

"You're down to one-word sentences?"

"Yes. Goodnight."

* * *

_Aven just hated these types of dreams. The ones she knew she should be paying attention to, but everyone in the dream seemed to skirt around their purpose and she could never really understand what anything meant until it was too late…_

_Aven looked in a mirror, and stared at her eyes. Her eyes were blue. But that didn't make any sense; her eyes were brown. Right? They _were_ brown, weren't they? She was pretty sure they were, but she knew that sometimes in dreams it was easy to forget basic facts about reality._

_And her eyes weren't just a soft, normal blue... the color reminded her a bit of Rena's, only Aven's were glowing brightly. There was a small flickering light coming from somewhere, but Aven couldn't pinpoint the location. Other than that, she could see only from the light radiating from her eyes, which still scared her a little bit._

_Suddenly the flickering light went out, leaving Aven alone in a dark space with only the faint light of her eyes. She gulped, wondering why her dream-self was not bothering to talk or call out._

Maybe my dream-self is smarter, _she thought. _Perhaps I don't want to attract attention to myself.

_She began to wander, taking small steps. She couldn't hear anything, and wondered if her current setting was just unnaturally quiet, or if this was one of those silent dreams. That would only add to the misery of the situation._

_She started walking a bit faster, feeling a little more confident. As her pace sped up, she suddenly tripped over something. She groaned, but no sound came out of her mouth._

Great, _she thought. _It _is _a silent dream.

_Aven looked to see what had tripped her, but the blue glow from her eyes gave nothing away. She bit her lip anxiously, feeling like she was in one of the ghost stories Xander used to tell her when they were younger. (She had taken a rather worrisome liking to them as a young girl.) If what was happening was anything like what went on in her brother's narrations, some hideous beast would pop out at her any moment and… well, usually they were was some sort of head-slicing after that._

_But there was no head-slicing. There was no beast. She was alone._

_And to Aven, the girl who had been alone for far too long, that was the scariest thing above all else._

* * *

Aven woke up in a cold sweat. She had fallen asleep by the fire, during which she had tried to take a few power naps. But she'd had that same dream over and over again, and she was actually more tired after her naps than she'd been before.

It was still dark, but Aven felt restless. The last few days had been such a torrent of emotions… the princess' head was still spinning from it all.

But she knew one thing. She _had _to find the Cup of Life before Morgause did. Because only Morgause and Merlin could use it properly, and Aven shuddered to think of what Morgause would do with it.

The wind whipped Aven's hair around her head and in front of her face, but she didn't bother doing anything about it, like going inside her tent. She felt lost and empty…

Maybe it was just because she hadn't eaten.

As if on cue, her stomach growled. She sighed, but she didn't move from her spot. She'd deal with hunger in the morning.

As she attempted to salvage what was left of the dying fire's warmth for herself, Aven got a sinking feeling in her chest as she found herself facing the facts…

Her emptiness simply had nothing to do with hunger.

She took a look at Merlin's tent, and then she quickly averted her eyes back to the fire. No, Merlin had made it clear that he didn't want any part of her… at least not romantically. She vaguely remembered Morgause saying something about Merlin lying to her… yes, it was coming back to her…

_"You__ simple girl… did you honestly believe that he would love you one night and the next suddenly not want anything to do with you?"_

What had Morgause meant by that? Had Merlin never loved her at all? No… no he _must _have…

But perhaps he didn't. Aven was reminded of the code she had lived by so long ago...

_"There is no such thing as love, only lust and attraction."_

Had she been right? She had thought things were different… but now, she wasn't so sure of anything.

Then, another thought crossed her mind. Had Merlin lied about not wanting her? About her not being worth his troubles? It would make sense.

But Merlin, Aven realized, was a distraction right now. She could deal with him at a later date. There was a mission that needed to be completed, lest Morgana and Morgause, the duo that had become the bane of her existence, was to end life as she knew it.


End file.
